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Bachelor(ette) blowouts - bring the pinata
Contributed by: Allyson Reedy on 9/29/2007

Ever since I got engaged 10 months ago I've been looking forward to my Big Day. What would I wear? Who will be invited? When to set the date? And then this weekend the culmination of the entire wedding planning process came to fruition - my bachelorette party.

Despite the fact that I won't be giving birth to a stripper's baby in 9 months nor have any altercations with the police to report, I had a fantastic time.

I had two requests of my friends regarding the Big Day - make it cheap, and I better have a pinata. Whereas they didn't adhere to rule #1, they did get me my papier mache pleasure and it was glorious. I honestly don't understand why more festivities don't involve pinatas. I mean does anything say "celebration" quite like beating the crap out of a cardboard Sponge Bob? I don't think so.

They substituted the usual pinata filling of candy and plastic toys with condoms and g-strings, but that was to be expected. And I think I prefer the massage oil to Pez.

We went to the traditional bachelorette party haunts of strip clubs and bars, and my friends decorated me in penis paraphenilia. Speaking of which - where did that custom even come from? They make penis cups, penis pencil toppers, penis pasta and pretty much everything else under the sun. (Is that actually someone's job? Coming up with more penis-shaped products?) Anyway, I went out in my penis tiara with my giant penis cup and something tells me my husband isn't walking around with a vagina on his head right now. What's with the double standard?

I have never in my life seen a bachelor forced to wear a vagina shirt, tie or anything else. In fact, I've never seen a bachelor wearing anything out of the ordinary. Certainly not a "suck for a buck" t-shirt (Oh, and if you need cash that badly, please consider a lemonade stand instead).

As I write this, my non-vagina covered (or at least he better be!) husband is on his weekend-long "mancation". Now before you go thinking it's unfair that he gets an entire weekend for his shindig, remember that I had the pinata.

He's got a cabin in the mountains where he'll be playing poker, watching football and drinking lots and lots of a certain Tennessee libation.This whole weekend long celebration is new to me, but people tell me it's increasingly common. Some bachelor(ette)s even do week-long vacations.

Are brides and grooms the most selfish people on the planet? We get the wedding, the shower, the party and now one night isn't enough. We want our friends to give us their vacation days and savings as well. (Hmmm, this might sound a little less hypocritical coming from someone who isn't asking their guests to fly to the Caribbean for their wedding...)

Oh well. People can do whatever they want for their stag parties, even if it means - and I shudder at the thought - a spa day, as more and more girls seem to be doing.

But my party was perfect for me, and I woke up Saturday morning without any morning after regrets. Thank God we left the strip club before the wet t-shirt contest started.


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Showing 1-7 of 7 comments
Submitted By: Katherine Jerome
posted on 10/9/2007 @ 2:52:18 PM
Rated Story
OMG...........and BTW Nikki, that is hilarious!
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Submitted By: Charmaine Robledo
posted on 10/3/2007 @ 9:36:37 AM
Rated Story
At a bachelorette party I attended a few weeks ago, all the bride donned was a pink tiara. But then she received more, um, *exotic* gifts later ...
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Submitted By: Nikki Britain
posted on 10/3/2007 @ 9:14:14 AM
Rated Story
Gives a new meaning to the term, 'dick head', I think.
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Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 10/2/2007 @ 6:41:53 PM
Rated Story
Wow, I am glad I got married 53 years ago. How innocent we were.
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Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 10/2/2007 @ 5:50:23 PM
Rated Story
My recent bachelor party must remain with the participants; I plead the 5th.
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Submitted By: Allyson Reedy
posted on 10/1/2007 @ 9:44:40 AM
(Not Rated)
Bachelorette box tradition?
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Submitted By: Fairlight Baer-Gutierrez
posted on 10/1/2007 @ 9:20:27 AM
Rated Story
Sounds fun! I didn't get a pinata, but we continued our bachelorette box tradition. Grooms across the world may be impressed to know that my man's taking off 12 days for the wedding while I'm using five days.
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Showing 1-7 of 7 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Allyson Reedy

Littleton , CO

Allyson Reedy has posted 46 stories and 23 comments since joining on 6/13/2006. Allyson Reedy 's average story rating is 4.88.
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