Nice Buns - Not! Pt. 2 2/22/08

Actually, I found my quest for the perfect burger an arduous, but pleasant, task, complicated by the fact that there are a lot of good ones out there. In fact, I find it hard to point my finger at any one in particular. On the high end, the Lamb Burger offered by The Hornet located at 1 st Street and Broadway was a delightful surprise. Okay, I'm not a purist although I do draw the line at veggie burgers. Just about any burger offered by the Cherry Cricket in the Cherry Creek Mall is worth the money and time you spend trying to find a parking space.

Rodney's, just down the street from the Cricket, also has an array of great burgers. An added attraction at both the Cricket and Rodney's are onion ring sides which you can get split with fries. I'm a firm believer that onion rings are a dying cuisine that when they are gone the earth won't be nearly as happy a place without them. The Smash Burger at Senor Rita's at Elm and Colfax is another delightful surprise if for no other reason that it comes from a Mexican food cantina.

What I discovered about the world of burgers was how do you judge a really bad one from a good one to a superb one. Let's face it, a ¼, 1/3, or even a ½ pound burger patty, will taste pretty much the same with slight variations depending on the cooking method. Whether the meat paddy gets char broiled or cooked on a flattop, the taste will ultimately reflect the flavor of the meat, whether it is bison, lamb or beef. Individual tastes may prefer a certain cooking method but the end result the fat and meat flavor will vary only slightly.

Now some might argue the add-ons that come with the burger can lift an ordinary burger into the realms greatness. I disagree. Add-ons can enhance flavor but not add to the essence of the burger's ultimate appeal. Whether its sautéed mushrooms, caramelized onions, jalapenos, any one of a number of cheeses, whole leaf or shredded lettuce, tomatoes, red onions or what have you are essentially window dressing. The Lamb Burger at The Hornet is a good example. The burger comes with two sides - I have mine with sautéed mushrooms and pepper jack cheese. Even if it came with just lettuce and tomato and red onions (as it does,) I would still think it was one of the best burgers I've ever eaten. For me, that's one of the primary criteria for a good burger; the meat can stand alone as its own unique culinary calling card. If not, why bother.

The deal stopper, the proverbial fly-in-the-ointment, the thing that baffles me more than any other addition to a burger - the transgression that will send many a chef to a special corner of hell - is the choice of an inferior vehicle to get the burger into you mouth and swallowed, and that of course, is the bun. What are chefs and owners thinking when they serve a perfectly acceptable burger paddy on a bun the size of a small biscuit?

I recently ordered a chili burger from a local bar/burger joint on Colfax. As a native Texan, it's hard for me to pass up a menu item that is listed under the burger section and has chili beside its name. When the waitress brought my order to the table, I was taken aback by the bun that came with it. I thought I might have strayed into a parallel universe where some kooky French bakery owner suddenly decided to throw a hamburger paddy on a roll that was by anyone's estimation three sizes too small for said paddy then tried to hide the fact by dousing the entire mess with red chili. Not only was the bun far too small for the paddy, I eat my burgers medium rare. The oozing blood from the burger had an immediate effect on the wimpy bun, saturating it from the inside out turning the bun back into a pasty flour mixture tainted slightly pink. It was a mess.

Don't even get me started on ciabatta bread. A word to chefs everywhere: Leave well enough alone. You don't do yourself or your establishment any favors trying to get all culinarily wild by serving a perfectly respectable American favorite on anything other than a good, old-fashioned white or wheat flour bun. Buy them with poppy seeds if you must, but serve me my burger the way it should be served - edible.