Hey you, under the rock, which is itself under several other pop-culture-blocking rocks .Spider-Man 3 came out today. To honor (read:mock) the critically underwhelmed sequel, here's a collection of odd Spider-Man/superhero related links:

I-Mockery lists 7 horrible things associated with the Spidey franchise. Haven't you always wanted a Spider-Man action figure, complete with stupid fishing hat and Spider-pole? Or a Spider-Ham comic (see photo). *shiver*

I-Mockery has a little venom (get it?) left over for the ubiquitous marketing associated with this film. For instance Operation: Spider-Man, in which you pull out spider-associated pieces from the classic Operation board, now adorned with Spidey. And it gets worse.

Spidey's unofficial home on the web is SpiderMansCrawlSpace.com, a site that looks like it was designed in 1997, but has a huge collection of horrible Marvel collectibles, including, and I'm not making this up, Incredible Hulk/Spider-Man toilet paper.

While we're making fun of Marvel, let's take a look at this awesome scene from 1979's live-action Captain America series. Things to look for: flimsy polyurethane shield, relatively slow-moving motorcycle with "silent" setting, and huge, bulky helmet with Cap's Hermes wings just painted on the side.

At some point, another Captain America series popped up. And thankfully, someone created a montage and set it to Team America's theme song, America, F*ck Yeah! (if you haven't figured it out, there's some cussin' in that video, so don't play it at work).

3,500 pounds of bat guano in your atticdoesn't really have anything to do with superheroes, unless a certain Dark Knight lost the lease on his bat cave and had to relocate, but it's still a fun story to read.

Yahoo! News takes a story about a South African man being stripped and SUPERglued (that's how I'm tying it into the theme, bear with me) to an exercise bike and pairs it with a photo of a bunch of nude cyclists in Spain. I wonder how the mind of a Yahoo! News employee works.

Worst criminal ever. Might be an overstatement, but when you steal a winter coat from a first-grader, sell it on eBay, get caught by the kid's mother andhappen to be the kid's teacher, you are definitely in the running.

Today's Minute Of Your Life You Will Never Get Back makes the Captain America video look like The Godfather. I give you: Spider-Man, live action, from America's 201st year, 1977. Enjoy. (update: Crawford Clark informs me that this show's Peter Parker, Nicholas Hammond,was one of the kids from The Sound of Music)
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