Recently, my Rocky came with a Nordstroms insert advertising shoes. It's full size (like the Post), six pages, glossy paper with artfully arranged color photos of shoes. Nine individual shoes. Well, some are actually boots, and one photo is of a pair of shoes-the "Coy" leopard print pump, with heels I'm sure my chiropractor would disapprove of. Nothing coy about the price, that's a bold $285. And that's the least expensive item in the spread. The priciest is a darling peep-toe pump for $615.

All that paper and ink for nine shoe styles all of which cry out to me, "who buys these?!" Other than Carrie Bradshaw and friends, who would rather buy shoes than pay the gas bill? Who can live without water and heat and food, but can't live without Stuart Weitzman? The total for all nine pairs would pay a nice chunk of my child's in-state college tuition.

I live in a nice neighborhood and the women I know dress well, but do I think they'd ever spend this much on a pair of shoes? Okay, so maybe for a special occasion. Very special. Your son's wedding, your own wedding, accepting a Pulitzer, that sort of special. But that still leaves a lot of shoes and, I'm assuming if the savvy folks at Nordstroms would spend the big bucks to advertise nine pairs of shoes there must be others who actually buy shoes with more liberal abandon than my acquaintances and I do!

I've broken these shoppers down into two categories. First, Twenty-somethings with more money than obligations. They're just starting out-maybe still living with mom and dad-and they have yet to acquire the house, cars, kids and tuitions that make you hesitate to buy anything less than the practical and necessary for yourself.

The second category is one I like to call people with more money than brains. Really, if you had that much money, is that what you'd spend it on? Shoes?? Okay, so maybe I wouldn't mind spending some quality time in this category myself, but after awhile, don't you come to the realization that you can only wear one pair at a time? Do I need to pull an "Imelda Marcos"? (You Twenty-somethings can just go look that up.)

Let's say I give in, have you walked through Nordstroms shoe department lately? I have, and the vast majority of shoes come with enough heel height to boost your elevation considerably. I'm sorry, but I've officially reached the age where I'd rather respect my body than torture it. Yes, I wear the heels now and then, but look around, lots of women wear several extra inches every day, for work, for play, for all I know-when they're doing the laundry!

You may think that's nuts, but it's all good. That money that went to tuition instead of shoes? It's going to make for some very wealthy chiropractors, podiatrists and osteopaths. I hope on Mother's Day, they remember to buy their mothers a really nice pair of...diamond studs. (We'll buy our own shoes, thank you!)