My neighbors just moved out. I'm terribly pleased. I live in an apartment, so bad neighbors in such close quarters can really become annoying. I must say, in their defense, the people who I think were actually on the lease weren't all that bad. They were pleasant when I ran into them in the hall, and never really disturbed me, with the exception of a few bizarre requests. (Who borrows a box of baking soda at midnight?) (Then, is kind enough to return it...three days later. I kind of didn't want it anymore.)

No, those people were okay. Their friends were the problem. There were seriously twelve or thirteen people living there. Every single one of them came up with a new reason to leave the apartment every few minutes, too. Slam the door. Feet stomping down the stairs. Feet stomping up the stairs. Slam the door again. It became the soundtrack for every evening.

Really, most of the coming and going was from people taking cigarette breaks out back. I understand that most rational people would hate to be separated from 11 of their closest friends for two or three minutes. So the rational thing to do would be to open the windows and scream back and forth at each other while you're outside. Who knows, they may discover the identity of the killer on "Law and Order" while you're gone, and then you'd be lost.

My windows aren't exactly airtight, so the screaming started to get annoying as well. When the snows came, though, I had high hopes that it would stop. I was right...they just started smoking in the hall outside my door. Much better. I realized that I didn't know what I'd had until it was gone. Thankfully, it warmed up and they left the hallway. All except for one idiot.

I was trying to read one afternoon when someone started knocking on their door. No one answered, but he kept knocking. I checked the clock. Finally, after 15 minutes I opened the door to let him know that sometimes when no one answers the door, it's because they're not there. He looked at me like I was some sort of rocket scientist but finally took off. (One final question: if you and your friends are obviously smoking something in your apartment, why not just smoke your cigarettes there, too?)