We had a fire drill at school the other day. I was grading papers when it went off. I only had a few more problems to check, so I was finishing up when the lights went out. I looked up to realize that the students, and their teacher, were quickly marching out the door. Oh, right. That's what you're supposed to do when a fire alarm sounds.

Unfortunately, my last several hundred experiences with fire alarms were back when I lived in the college dorms. So, like the kids in the class, I reacted to the sound just like I had been trained to do. You see, usually when a fire alarm sounds in the dorms, it's because some drunken idiot thinks it's going to be hilarious. Instead of a normal thought process that consists of, "Building's burning, must get out," you become jaded. That piercing sound only leads you to think,

"Crap. Well, let me finish this sentence. And hit 'save'...where are my shoes? Wait, those don't look good with these pants. I wonder if it's cold out? Maybe I should take a jacket anyway. And some cash...last time everyone wanted to go to Sonic and I didn't bring any money. Ooh, and I should also bring that Psych textbook so I can get some work done. Then find the highlighter. Weren't there questions? I thought there were questions with this reading. Wheeeeere did I put that syllabus? Oh, right. Fire alarm. Well, my hands are full. I guess it's time to go."

Now, I may seem oversupplied for a few minutes spent outside, but that's because it was always much longer than that. We had to wait for the fire trucks, and with the size of that building, they had to bring three or four. Then, by the time they had checked over 400 rooms for other drunken idiots (who think it's hilarious to hide from firefighters)...it's been three or four hours. So I was pleasantly surprised when the school fire drill ended in minutes. We walked outside, turned around, and walked back in. Now that's how to escape from a burning building that...isn't really burning.