"I'm just not good at Algebra!" is my son's mantra. "Math sucks!" is another. "My brain wasn't built for math." My temptation is to respond with, "You're a smart kid, Algebra should be easy for you." But a recent article in the New York Magazine highlights research that indicates that glib praise connected to natural or innate abilities may actually deter children from doing their best to accomplish a goal.

Is it possible to praise our children too much?

Po Bronson, author of the New York Magazine article, sites a survey conducted by Columbia University, indicating that 85 percent of American parents think it's important to tell their kids that they're smart. But a growing body of research strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of "smart" does not prevent them from under-performing. Praise is important but to be effective, researchers have found, praise needs to be specific. Bronson summarizes the work of Stanford Psychologist, Carol Dweck:

"In one series of studies the researchers would take a single child out of the classroom for a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of puzzles-puzzles easy enough that all the children would do fairly well. Once the child finished the test, the researchers told each student his score, and then gave him a single line of praise. Randomly divided into groups, some were praised for their intelligence. They were told, 'You must be smart at this.' Other students were praised for their effort: 'You must have worked really hard.'

Then the students were given a choice of test for the second round. One choice was a test that would be more difficult than the first, but the researchers told the kids that they'd learn a lot from attempting the puzzles. The other choice, Dweck's team explained, was an easy test, just like the first. Of those praised for their effort, 90 percent chose the harder set of puzzles. Of those praised for their intelligence, a majority chose the easy test. The 'smart' kids took the cop-out."

When we praise our child for his intelligence, we may unintentionally encourage him not to risk making a mistake. It seems that students who tend to think that innate intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids' reasoning goes; I don't need to put out effort. Or I'm dumb in this area, why put forth the effort.

How can I encourage my children without falling into the trap of overly praising them? I found the following tips, adapted in part from Laurence Steinberg's book, The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, to be helpful:

Be Specific and Sincere. Try to phrase your reactions in ways that praise the specific accomplishment, rather than link the accomplishment to your affection for your child. Saying "You did a great job on your book report" is better than saying "I love it when you do so well at school." Being specific is important because once children hear praise they interpret as merit less; they discount not just the insincere praise, but sincere praise as well.

Focus on Effort. Focus your praise on the link between the accomplishment and the effort your child exerted, rather than attributing your child's achievement to some "natural" or innate characteristic. Telling your child that her piano recital was a big success because she put so much work into preparing for it sends a very different message than telling her that her performance was a success because she is a naturally gifted musician.

Avoid Labels. Praising for effort sends the message that your child has the power to improve and change, but labeling him "smart" gives him little control over changing how he is perceived. Be mindful of labeling yourself ("I can't do my taxes - I'm terrible at math") and others ("Your gymnastics partner is such a klutz").

It is also helpful to teach your children from an early age that the brain is a muscle that can be strengthened with practice. This sends the true message that kids can directly affect their intelligence, and may empower an unmotivated son or two to do their Algebra homework! . . . well maybe not!

Rich Batten is the father of four and the Family and Fatherhood Specialist for the Colorado Department of Human Services. See his interviews with CW2 Morning News Anchor Natalie Tysdal at cw2.trb.com