Your identity as your parents' child has existed since the day you were born. Whether or not you are the baby, the middle, or the oldest of the bunch, you've always known your place, and have developed much of yourself around that dynamic. Regardless of your age, you've always been aware of your "child" identity, but as life changes, you may be "cast" in a different role.

Every day, adult children are faced with becoming "the parent" to their parents. A USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup poll of baby boomers finds that 41% who have a living parent are providing care for them - either financial help, personal care or both - and 8% of boomers say their parents have moved in with them. Of those who are not caring for an aging parent, 37% say they expect to do so in the future. About half say they're concerned about being able to provide such care.

The question of "how to switch roles" has become ever-present in many households. It is fraught with fear, guilt, resentment, and a host of other emotions never anticipated by the children of aging parents. The range of emotions is normal, and so is the learning curve in how to deal with them.

The old adage "honesty is the best policy" was never so true as it is now as you find your way through your new role as a caregiver. At first, you may feel a sense of guilt, or of "being out of bounds." You may even tell yourself, that you should keep your thoughts to yourself. These are all natural, but this is a time to build your foundation of supportive communication. During any discussion, it's important to keep in mind the dignity and intelligence of your loved one. This is a time that is filled with fear and anxiety for them as well. As you start a conversation you may wish to share that you have noticed changes in your parent and these changes have brought about concern. Statements like, "Mom, I've noticed that when you cook, the stove is left on and I'm concerned about your safety. Would you like to talk about it?" can set the forum for open dialogue, and doesn't point the finger, elicit blame, or make anyone feel shameful.

At the other end of the spectrum, as changes become more apparent and moving becomes the only option, statements like: "Dad, I know this is difficult, I am here for you, and will be by your side as we look for a place that makes you feel comfortable. I love you and will not leave you to fend for yourself. I care for you and will make sure you are safe." can again show unwavering support and love with the reassurance that this is not a consequence for "bad" behavior.

Many people find that even though their role is changing into a care provider for their parents, that they can find moments of being the child again. After sharing concerns and providing for the welfare of their loved one, they are able to reestablish their inner peace, and can let down their guard to enjoy the quieter moments. While some levels of communication will change, inherently, you are still the baby, the middle, the eldest. In those windows of peace that do appear you'll be able to see reflected in them a familiar image, enjoyment of your mother and father.

If you are seeking ways to talk to your parents about changes in their life, you will want to attend a free discussion at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, November 6 th. Hosted by MEMORY BRIDGING and Sunrise at Cherry Creek, the discussion will be at 251 South Colorado Boulevard, Denver, Colorado 80246. Please call (303) 333-1166 to RSVP or for directions.

About the Speaker:

Robin Glenn, MA, LPC is the Director of Coaching in Colorado for MEMORY BRIDGING and has extensive experience in Cognitive Therapy with individuals and their families. Her counseling experience spans from Family Therapies to working with senior populations for the Department of Preventive Medicine, University of Tennessee Health Sciences Center.She works throughout the Denver metro area and specializes in clients with memory loss due Alzheimer's, dementia, and stroke.

About the Hosts:

MEMORY BRIDGING is focused on supporting and improving the quality of life, cognitive function and emotional well-being for individuals and families coping with Alzheimer's, mild stroke and mild traumatic brain injury. MEMORY BRIDGING is a Denver Business Journal 2007 Champions in Health Care Innovation Finalist. For more information, please visit www.membridge.com.

Sunrise at Cherry Creek offers a full range of personalized senior living services, including independent living, assisted living, care for individuals with Alzheimer's and other forms of memory loss, as well as nursing, rehabilitative and hospice care. Sunrise's senior living services are delivered by staff trained to encourage the independence, preserve the dignity, enable freedom of choice and protect the privacy of residents. To learn more about Sunrise, please visit www.sunriseseniorliving.com.