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Top 10 problems dogs encounter with pet humans

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Contributed by: Jeff Thomas on 5/23/2006

10) SIT. Puh-leeeeeeeze!

9) CHEWING. You buy perfectly good things to chew on but I'm not allowed to chew them. Go figure!

8) DON'T COVER UP MY HOLES!

I worked all day digging those holes. LEAVE IT!

7) BARKING. Humans never stop talking but I join in and what do I get??? NO BARK!!

6) GOOD VS. BAD. Everything is either good OR bad. What is a 'good' and why do you make that ugly face when you say BAD!

5) SNIFFING. I feel sorry for you people. Don't have a clue, do ya?

4) JUMPING UP. You're upright on 2 paws all day long but let me try it just once and it's: GET DOWN!

3) COLLARS & LEASHES. Need I say more?

2) UNNECESSARY BELL RINGING. Try barking.

Its cheaper.

1) PORCELAIN BOWLS. Perfectly good porcelain bowls full of fresh water and I'm not allowed to touch. Higher on the food chain my tail!

Pet humans are no picnic. I've spent my whole life with them, my parents before me, their parents before them and on and on and on and they still confound us every step of the way. Just when you think you've got them figured out they go and do something ludicrous like put clothes on you. Humans, on behalf of my fellow canines I think I can safely say except for the smaller breeds we really don't need clothes, thank you. Got a whole body of fur here, folks. We don't try and put dirt on you, don't put clothes on us.

So how do we resolve our differences? There is only one way my friends, one way to put aside ourdifferences and celebrate our love for one another. It only comes around once a year, so listen up. Saturday, May 20 th, starting at 8:30AM the Longmont Humane Society is having their 6 th annual FURRY FRIENDS FESTIVAL featuring THE WALK For ANIMALS at the Boulder County Fairgrounds Picnic Area. Did you get that? Should I repeat it? FURRY FRIENDS FESTIVAL featuring THE WALK FOR ANIMALS, Saturday, May 20 th, 8:30AM Boulder County Fairgrounds Picnic Area.

3-Mile walk, canines and our humans, sniffing, scratching and sauntering till our hearts content.

I'm willing to go out on a limb here. You humans take us to FURRY FRIENDS FESTIVAL & WALK FOR ANIMALS and we dogs will never, ever, call you #*&%#@ again! You have our paw on that.

Check out www.longmonthumane.org for more details

Brianna Beauvait

Humane Educator

Longmont Humane Society

9595 Nelson Road

Longmont, CO 80501

(303) 772-1232

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Jeff Thomas

Jeff Thomas has posted 1629 stories and 83 comments since joining on 9/14/2005. Jeff Thomas's average story rating is 4.73.

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