Dear Coach Greg: I never thought I'd be asking for relationship advice from a guy I don't even know, but I heard your interview on the radio (KOSI After Dark 101.1 FM). You seemed to read both men and women pretty well, so here it goes. I'm currently dating 2 HOT girls simultaneously. Although I have a fun time with both of them and we seem like the same activities - golf with one and concerts with the other. Eventually, I'll need to choose one of them if I want to go to the next level. All this dating is also putting a strain on my wallet. How do I choose?
Double The Pleasure
Dear Double The Pleasure: Thanks for taking a risk by asking for relationship advice from a professional relationship coach instead of "Joe the Bartender". I can think of thousands of men who would like to have your problem, but I can see how it can also have its disadvantages. Normally, I'd encourage you to take your time before you decide which one to choose. Think of dating a variety of people as an opportunity to get clear what your relationship requirements are, and experiencing your requirements being met with a potential partner. Rather than settling for someone who happens to play golf what if you became a "conscious" dater and noticed how they treat the staff at the golf club. Are they courteous or do they have a big chip on their shoulder? Are they highly competitive and gloat if they win or are they supportive and a good sport? It's amazing how much information you can collect about your date while you're on the date. Instead of talking about "nothing in particular" take this opportunity to talk about the following must have discussion topics before entering a committed relationship (finances, career goals, physical intimacy, gender roles, social intimacy, family, and spirituality). Getting this valuable information will make your choice on whom to continue dating easier.
If frequent dating is putting a strain on your wallet consider free or low cost dates - picnics, a bicycle ride, or playing a relationship board game with another couple. This opportunity may even give you valuable information on if your date enjoys being with you more than how much money was spent on the date.
For additional information on how to become a "conscious" dater:
1. go to
www.RelationshipCoach.us, then click on Upcoming Workshops -
Conscious Dating (#4214F);
2. read the book,
Conscious Dating: Finding The Love Of Your Life In Today's World
by David Steele;
3. for
monthly opportunities to practice your relationship preparation skills and to interact with like minded singles go to:
www.RelationshipCoach.us, then click on Services Offered - Relationship Coaching For Singles.
Send your relationship question for
Relationship Coaching Corner to:
gregrthiel@comcast.net or visit
www.RelationshipCoach.us.