Article Contributed on: 4/28/2007 10:59:20 PM
The Wif & I are not exempted from the normal trials and tribulations of parenting because we're adoptive parents. Just as we're able to take great pride and immense joy in the things we get to watch our kids do - like other parents - we're going to have our share of "bad" days and weeks.
Like this one just past. We suffered through many instances of "M's" non-listening, (worse than normal, that is - every 5-year old has lapses and tests their limits), being dismissive of her brothers' needs, running like crazy through the house and so-called, 'parentified' behavior.
And just like other parents, there are times when we throw up our hands - almost in defeat - and ask each other, "what is THIS all about?!?"
But we're not like other parents in this regard; we and our kids do not share a common history. Well, we share an 8 and 1/2 month history - which is a thin majority of Binky Boy's life, a substantial minority of D-Man's developmental history but a very thin sliver of "M's" existence.
Oh, we've become familiar with some of the history through social workers and one day we will be able to read through the kids' entire file, but we're starting to realize that there is a vast gap between
knowledge and
experience.
The knowledge of what the kids have gone through seems hollow and incomplete during those moments when we're going crazy trying to figure out what's the driving force behind certain behaviors. Because "what's causing this?" pales in comparison to, "remember when the power was cut off - and how crazy it made her?"
We're learning, slowly. It helps to review what you know when the problems surface.
Which is probably true for all parents...
Chris Stone is a slightly different - hopefully better - Father and man than he was yesterday...