Article Contributed on: 12/5/2007 10:35:02 PM
I tend to garner a decent amount of scorn from some of those who are privy to the inner circle of our lives, due to my parenting style. I'll leave it to you to guess the sex of those who are most critical of how I treat my children...
The fact is that most of the criticism stems from how I tend to treat "M" and the fact that I actually hold her accountable for many things that the critics feel are above her age-related levels. I will only comment in passing on the fact that my same expectation of my boys is generally ignored and hope that in so doing I haven't given away the secret of the last paragraph.
I will explain my ways here the same way I explain them to my friends/critics and even - from time to time - to my Wif: I am NOT teaching a six year old how to handle and live her life, (and the same goes for 2- and 1- year old boys). I am instead trying to deal with the 14 year old she (and they) will eventually become. And it starts at 6.
And at 2 and at 1...
What I do NOW matters later. If I expect her to resist peer pressure as a teen, (and I do), I can't introduce that idea to her in the middle of her 13th year of life; I have to start where we are. If I expect her to read instead of watching the boob tube, (see above), I must tell her that tonight, before the other habit is instilled in her.
And if I want the boys to pursue mechanical pursuits instead of idle entertainment, well... then I need do nothing at this time, frankly. But that's a different situation for a different time.
In short - and as I've said before - if my job was to raise a 6 year old, I'd be done already. My job is to raise well-adjusted, well-balanced, courteous, thoughtful, strong and generous adults.
But just like them, it starts with childhood. And not a moment too soon...
Chris Stone is a slightly different - hopefully better - Father and man than he was yesterday...