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Blog Entry 175 of 344 Father Knows... Something. Let's figure out what.
This is my outlet to share with the world all the things I've learned - and continue to learn - about being the Father to 3 young children. But I should warn you that my experience is probably NOT yours: my wife and I adopted a sibling set of 3 - all 6 years old and younger - while in our 40's. We've heard that, "it keeps you young," but so far, it has mostly kept us tired... But like any parent, our kids teach us something new every day and I hope to share at least something here with you as I can. The entries will be short - time constraints will probably keep it at or around a mere 200-400 words - but as they say, brevity is the soul of wit. Let's hope I can create some brevity here. So if you read something you like, please leave a comment. If you read something you don't, please just leave. (Just kidding - I'd love to hear from critics as well.)

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~Fatherknows

Hold fast the memories

Contributed by: Chris Stone   on 7/26/2007

There's BIG doing's up at The Stonestead this week; all of a sudden and with very little warning... Well, I'll tell the story instead.

When the kids first moved in with us, (one year ago next month - where does the time go?) they were coming from 2 different foster homes. The older two ("M" and D-Man) had been placed - and moved all too frequently - together.

And in spite of all the complications this has produced in each of them, I'm eternally grateful that they at least had each other along the way. I think it will serve them well as the years unfold.

On the other hand, Binky came from a Foster home that specializes in the care of infants. He went there when he was 3 days old and left on his 8th Month-day, plus one. It was a firm and steady start.

Once here, it was my decision to have them sleep in the same room. After all, it was the first chance the 3 of them had to spend even a single night together -- why not jump right in?

This meant that we tried our best to conform to the schedules they were already used to, and THAT meant that "M" and D-Man went to bed at the same time while Binky stayed up another half-hour in order to get his asthma treatment. Again - conforming to the schedule with which he was already familiar.

But things change and we start to notice things and we eventually adapt to what we see. Namely, that the boys need - and get - their own room, (as does "M" - obviously), and their own bedtime. "M" sleeps earlier in the evening and later in the morning, so she goes to bed before her younger brothers.

She does not yet hate us for this.

The boys shared time in our laps as we rocked them to sleep: I'd get D-Man one night and Binky the next. However, with each child I'd hold and rock and sing to them, (Binky's favorite song -- "On Jordan's Stormy Banks I Stand," Jars of Clay version), until they were asleep.

Did I mention that things change? Well, they have; each boy now goes - extra-willingly - to bed while still fully awake. As nine o'clock rolls around we'll ask the child in our lap if they're ready to go to bed "like a big boy" and to a man, they strain to sit up in the direction of their bed.

It's a real shame, frankly, but it's just the first of many steps they'll take away from us as the years pass. Intellectually, I'm ready for it because I know that it has to happen in order to turn my boys into men.

But as a Father? Yikes...

Chris Stone is a slightly different - hopefully better - Father and man than he was yesterday...


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Chris Stone

Arvada , CO

Chris Stone has posted 344 blog entries and 155 comments since joining on 7/6/2006. Chris Stone 's average blog rating is 5.
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