Mom and Dad think they've launched their child, high school or college degree
in hand, into a world of independence. Then the phone rings and they hear, "I
need to move back home."

This move might be precipitated by the child's job that pays too little, loss of a job, debts that have mounted, divorce, or any number of other reasons. Regardless, having a child, and sometimes grandchildren, too, living in the parent's home changes everyone's financial situation.

Discussions about financial responsibilities need to occur early in the living arrangement. Be as specific as possible. Some questions to ask could
include:
-How much money can the parents use to help their child? Is the money to be a
gift or a loan? Will the child contribute to household expenses, such as for
food and utilities? Will the child help with household chores, and if so,
which ones? What are the boundaries on how long this new arrangement is
acceptable?

-Put agreements for shared expenses in writing so all parties clearly
understand the arrangements. Be specific about what expenses are to be shared,
and how much, and when, the money is to be paid. This can avoid uncomfortable
feelings later on. If no room and board is to be paid, then make certain all
parties understand the arrangement.

-Costs that may increase when there are additional people in the household
include utilities, food, laundry and perhaps long distance telephone. Other
potential expenses are additional car insurance if the child is driving the
family vehicle, personal property coverage for the child's possessions, and
childcare for grandchildren.

-Money issues aside, include discussions about time management - - bedtime,
quiet time and noise levels, for example. Expectations about mealtimes,
helping with household tasks, and frequency or method of communications should
also be part of the discussion.

Talking about family finances and responsibilities with adult children may
not be easy, but not talking can easily create misunderstandings and tension.
When an adult child moves home to "get back on their feet," family ties can
either be strengthened or stretched. Up-front communications about
expectations can avoid many potential problems later on.

Colorado State University Cooperative Extension provides unbiased,
research-based information about family and consumer issues, horticulture,
natural resources, agriculture and 4-H youth development.
As part of a nationwide system, Cooperative Extension brings the research and resources of the University to the community.

For more information visit
www.ext.colostate.edu or www.AnswerLink.info, where answers to everyday
questions are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Laurel L. Kubin, Colorado State University Cooperative Extension, Larimer
County Director

Mary Pat Adams, APR is the marketing representative for the northern region of CSU Cooperative Extension.