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Blog Entry 33 of 601 What's Going On
Whats Going On
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A lesson in Midwestern banter

Contributed by: Brendan Leonard   on 4/26/2006

I come from the Midwest, where one comes to expect general unoriginal, but sometimes clever, banter as a daily, if not many-times-daily occurrence. Many exchanges between familiar folks go something like these examples:

No. 1:
Bob: "Hey Jim, how's it goin'?"
Jim: "Oh, it's goin'."

No. 2:
Bob: "Jim, how are you?"
Jim: "Doin' well, Bob, how are you?"
Bob: "I'm doin'."

No. 3:
Bob: "Sandra, how are you?"
Sandra: "I'm good, Bob."
Bob, smiling mischeviously: "Well, you look good."
Sandra, smiling: "Thanks, Bob."

No. 4:
Bob: "Jim, how's life treatin' you?"
Jim: "Like a baby treats a diaper, Jim."

When I ask someone how they're doing, the chance that they will actually say something I've never heard before is pretty much nonexistent. Our greeting is more of a common courtesy than anything else. If a real conversation is to happen, it follows the greeting, which usually never changes. When I see my neighbor John outside on his front steps, I say hello, and if I have time to talk, I'll ask him a question after the greeting, and if he has time to talk, maybe he'll ask me a question after the greeting.

Brendan: "Hey John, how's it going?"
John: "Good. How are you?"
Brendan: "Good."
Option No. 1: I keep walking and go into my house. The conversation ends.
Option No. 2: I ask, "How's the work on the house going?" and we talk about that, or John asks, "Have they sold your house yet?" and we talk about that.

But when I do hear something new, it's a watershed moment for me. A couple Sundays ago, I was standing in the checkout line at Wild Oats and the man in the back of the line, who must have been a regular there, started a conversation with the cashier. It went like this:

Bob: " Brian, how are you?"
Brian (cashier): "I'm good, Bob."
Bob: "Good to see you, Brian."
Brian: "Good to see you too, Bob."
Bob: "It's good to be seen."

Bob is a revolutionary in the world of everyday banter. I am now and forever stealing his "It's good to be seen" line and using it in my own conversations.


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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: William Boucher
posted on 5/1/2006 @ 10:31:56 PM
Rated Blog Entry
"I'm so happy it hurts." "I'm great, but I'm getting better." "If I was any better, it'd be illegal." "If I was any better, I'd have to be twins." "If I was any better, they'd write songs about me." "I'm not unwell, thank you"(George Carlin). "I don't suck!" "I'm so good, I can hardly stand myself."
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Submitted By: Robert White
posted on 4/27/2006 @ 7:32:43 PM
(Not Rated)
In King Soopers, the banter usually goes something like this: Bob: "I can't get this can of tomato soup to scan." Guy waiting behind me: "If you'd get your thumb off the bar code, we could get this line moving."
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Submitted By: John Zwick
posted on 4/26/2006 @ 11:36:23 AM
(Not Rated)
It's one of my favorites, but it doesn't have enough opportunities for use. I'll try to give you the setup some time.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments