Article Contributed on: 1/25/2007 9:08:47 PM
According to AOL's news headline this morning, if you give a woman bling, she will love you forever. Oh, really? That seems like a rather simplistic, superficial idea. I also think it is an insult to women that if a man simply throws expensive jewelry at her, everything will be hunky-dory.
Perhaps AOL was half jesting. I don't know. But, frankly, as a woman, I find it condescending. Now I am not going to let it ruin my day or anything, but I am always looking for something to write about. This is just as good a topic as anything else.
First of all, I want to say that I love bling. Most women do. But there are a lot of other things I would prefer from my husband. In fact, I would prefer that henot buy me bling; it costs too much and I have enough jewelry already. The perfect gift for me for Valentine's Day would be a one or two pound box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box. Nowthat would make me love him forever!
All joking aside, I believe the gift most women would prefer over all others is their man's being emotionally available to them (tell me, girls, if you agree). At least that is how I feel and other women that I have talked to for the most part agree. When I say emotionally available, I mean, there to listen and to not necessarily solve the problem. Being emotionally present, not just physically so. Validating the woman for who she is emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually, not simply for her body or her looks.
A few weeks ago when I had something disturbing happen to me, I sobbed. When my husband saw me crying, he demanded to know what was wrong. After a few minutes, I brought myself to tell him. At first he hugged me and comforted me. Then he wanted to kick some a**! He was angry that I was hurt and his way of solving it was quite manly. But all I really wanted was a listening ear and a strong shoulder to cry on. For the most part, he provided that. But it is not always so.
Some women would readily admit they want a man to be present, period. They want him to take out the trash, do the laundry, help with cooking and cleaning. My husband already does those things phenomenally well, so I do not have an issue with that. Besides those things, however, I know women crave emotional support and that their mensupport andlove them. They want to feel like they have intrinsic value as a human being. It is an inherent need in women, just as men want to be respected.
So this Valentine's Day I do not want bling. I would be ecstatic with two ears that work well, strong arms, a simple smile. And if my husband throws in a box of chocolates and dinner at Maggianos? Well, then I am sooo done!