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Remembering Aunt Lola

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Contributed by: Erin Di Paolo on 3/16/2008

There is nothing like death to get people thinking about life.

Ever since my husband John's Aunt Lola passed away two weeks ago, I have been contemplating life, both in general, and John's life in specific. You see, if it had not been for his aunt, I don't know where John would have ended up.

John's Aunt Lola, along with his uncle Sam, did as much raising of John as his own parents. When John was only 3 they taught him how to swing a golf club, hit a baseball, and pick the winning dogs at the race track. Since Lola and Sam had no children of their own, they treated John as if he were their son -- and he in turn treated them as his second set of parents.

When John and I began dating over 19 years ago he could not wait for me to meet his family members, particularly Lola and Sam. Though I was scared to death before meeting, Lola and Sam welcomed me as part of the family immediately. Full-blooded Italians, they made homemade spaghetti and, of course, sauce with all the fixings. It was a memorable Sunday.

Thankfully, it was not the last. John and I would join Lola and Sam, Sunday after Sunday, for months to come. Though she said to never bring anything, we would always bring dessert and Lola, a passionate eater, would smile and say she was so glad we did!

After we married and had children, Lola and Sam lavished the same love on our children as they had John growing up. They loved them like their own grandchildren, spoiling them with sweets and the few dollars they had. Our kids cherished every moment.

As time went by and we moved further away, we saw them less frequently, but visited when we could. Four years ago we lost Sam to cancer and Lola had to be moved to a nursing home. I regret I never visited her there; John visited but a few times, but kept in touch with Lola via the phone.

When we found out Lola had died, we were saddened, John more than I, of course. But the happy memories of spending so much time with her lessened the pain for me. I knew that while I had not spent as much time as I could, I did spend time with her. That was truly better than having not spent any time at all.

Last week was Lola's funeral. At the entryway of the chapel was a small collage of pictures documenting Lola's life. In one picture was a youthful Lola with a youthful John, probably about five or six years old, both smiling as if the entire world had stopped and they were the only two that existed. It made me tear up. I called John over; he looked at the picture, tears in his eyes, and had to turn away. It is anyone's guess what he was feeling in that moment.

Maybe he was thinking time had gone by too quickly. Or perhaps he was remembering the first time Lola held him in her arms after a scrapped knee. Maybe he was pondering the first swing he made with golf clbus she gave him.

Or maybe he was feeling lilke we all do when someone close to us dies: that he should have made more time for her.

I don't pretend to have a handle on what my husband thinks. But as one who witnessed John's actions toward his aunt for nearly two decades I can say one thing with complete certainty: he loved his aunt and she loved him right back.

What better legacy could one hope to leave?

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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Erin Di Paolo

Denver , CO

Erin Di Paolo has posted 63 blog entries and 1 comment since joining on 3/18/2006. Erin Di Paolo 's average blog rating is 4.55.

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