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Blog Entry 23 of 68 The Write Words
I hope to write about anything and everything that comes into my mind, as long as it is in good taste. I hope to communicate effectively and stimulate thought and conversation. I can't wait to get started!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~ErinsBlog

How to get kicked out of a book club

Contributed by: Erin Di Paolo   on 1/11/2007

I have strong opinions. That is a fact. Of course, opinions are like something else on the human body -- we all have one. I have told people before that I would rather be dead than lose my passion. Even though I can tend to be a very black and white person, in the past few years I have allowed more room for gray. It has been hard work, but I have had some success.

So imagine my shock when I received an email this morning from the friend who invited me to her book club several months ago. In the email, the same friend was now uninviting me to book club. Excuse me?

How does one get kicked out of a book club? Like my husband said, Congress, maybe? But who boots someone out of a book club? Good question. Well, unfortuntely, I was kicked out. Who knows? Maybe people like me get kicked out all the time and no one ever talks about it.

Well, I am talking about it. I feel angry and I feel hurt. Of course, when this group apparently got together to discuss my demise, they spoke to my friend of how I had supposedly said things in the club that hurt them. This being the case, I am now out. Oh, ok, well now it all makes sense!

None of these women (and I use the term loosely -- it feels more like junior high) ever approached me, never said a word to me about my offensive comments. Where I come from, when you have an offense against someone you go to them and let them know they hurt you, made you angry, whatever. But in the junior high book club that I belonged to? Well, things are done in a backbiting, vengeful fashion.

This was the first book club that I ever belonged to; it will not be the last. I will try again because, from all I have heard about book clubs, members are free to voice their opinions and, of course, there are as many opinions as there are people.

Feelings will inevitably be hurt in book club, as in every other area of one's life. I wonder if these women do the same thing to people they are in relationship with? I can just see it -- one hurtful, perhaps truthful, comment and you are done. Thank God I have friends that are more gracious; I try to be the same.

Perhaps I did say something hurtful that I need to apologize for. Of course, I may never know what I said because not a single person came to me and confronted me. And the one person that said anything to me -- one of my best friends -- chose to inform me in a terse, right-to-the-point email. That is the most hurtful thing of all, if the truth be told.

Where is the redemption in all of this? Well, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to read some great books and talk to others about them. Anything that gets me reading, thinking, and growing is definitely a plus.

I am glad, too, that I did not invest too much time or energy in these women. If I had gotten further down the road with them, the pain would be greater. I have also learned what Ido notwant in a book club.

One of my real friends, Amy, who has gone through adversity in her life and in our friendship, sent me a poem today to encourage me. Author Dave Whyte'slast line pretty much sums up the situation:

"Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness
to learn that anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you."

AMEN.


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Showing 1-6 of 6 comments
Submitted By: Fairlight Baer-Gutierrez
posted on 1/22/2007 @ 11:44:49 AM
Rated Blog Entry
I'm with Tabitha on thinking you should start your own club. What's the point of meeting if the other members reserved their opinions for passively kicking you out?
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Submitted By: Joe Wedick
posted on 1/12/2007 @ 8:03:11 AM
(Not Rated)
Stay who you are - you are apparently a person who has grown past the needs of a "toddler", when the definition of oneself is provided to, and accepted without question by, the person from the outside world, rather than the definition of oneself being provided by the person to the outside world. Congratulations on being a grownup.
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Submitted By: Julius Vaughns
posted on 1/11/2007 @ 2:12:33 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Now, what we're all dying to know is "what did you say?" to get you kicked out? That's the real scoop...
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Submitted By: Tabitha Dial
posted on 1/11/2007 @ 2:08:47 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Can you and Amy start your own book club? You're a fine writer -- we'd love reviews of what you've read. Good luck ... and good luck with your blog, too.
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Submitted By: Julius Vaughns
posted on 1/11/2007 @ 2:06:35 PM
Rated Blog Entry
She's right, it's kinda hard to get kicked out of YourHub.com!
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Submitted By: Charmaine Robledo
posted on 1/11/2007 @ 2:03:41 PM
Rated Blog Entry
We appreciate your opinions here, Erin. You'll always be a part of the YourHub.com Club.
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Showing 1-6 of 6 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Erin Di Paolo

Denver , CO

Erin Di Paolo has posted 68 blog entries and 1 comment since joining on 3/18/2006. Erin Di Paolo 's average blog rating is 4.45.
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