Blog

YourHub.com \\ Green Valley Ranch \\ Blogs \\ Life \\ Philosophy

Blog Entry 49 of 66 The Write Words

I hope to write about anything and everything that comes into my mind, as long as it is in good taste. I hope to communicate effectively and stimulate thought and conversation. I can't wait to get started!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~ErinsBlog

Entries:

Words I've stricken from my vocabulary

e-mail to a friend | print this | link to this

NEXT › ‹ PREVIOUS

Contributed by: Erin Di Paolo on 5/31/2007

Don't you hate when you are venting about something and a well-meaning person says "you shouldn't feel that way?" Say what? Or, they may say, "you should do that." Who died and made them God, anyhow? Doesn't it just tick you off?

It irritates the hell out of me.

Since I have also used these words on occasion, I have determined in my heart that I will do my best to no longer utter them. It is going to be hard, I realize, but I am committed to at least trying.

The other day I was having a meltdown. Not uncommon for me, as I am an extremely passionate, emotional half-Italian. After venting about an extremely disappointing event in my life, I was told by someone who (supposedly) loves me very much that I "should be" happy for the person who got what I had so coveted with all my heart. I mean, I wanted this particular thing more than anything I have wanted in a very long time.

I wanted to strangle the person who said it. Was I being selfish, immature, ungrateful? Yes. Did I need to be reminded of those things at the moment of my deep grief? No.

When we are angry or sad or in deep despair, the last thing any of us needs is to be told how to feel. One of the worst things we can do in someone's time of hardship is to tell them to feel something other than what they are feeling.

Whenever I see someone, particularly a student at school, crying, I never, ever tell them to stop. And I cannot stand when someone tells me to not cry. For me, it cleanses my soul and enables me to begin to heal. There is something about a good cry for me that allows me to see things in a fresh, clear way.

I do believe there is a time to stop crying and quit being angry. I also believe most reasonable people can decide for themselves when that time is. I don't need to decide for them.

Some things are gotten over relatively quickly, others may take a lifetime. I know there are things that have devastated me to the degree that they are embedded in my memory and I will in no way get over them; the loss is simply too great. But I live with it and allow it to change the way I react to others when they are enduring something painful or infuriating.

So I will not be saying "you should feel this way" or "you shouldn't feel that way" or "stop crying" or "just get over it" ever again.

Now if I could just stop uttering expletives.

< Previous: 'Outrageous government ...' | Next: 'Why I love Frontier Ai...' >

[Report this as objectionable content.]

SUBMIT COMMENT

Rate the above blog

Current Rating

Based on 4 user ratings.

Talk Back : submit comments to the blog

*Note: you need to log-in to add a comment or rating.

Thank you! Your comment has been updated.

Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

Submitted By: Brendan Leonard

posted on 6/13/2007 @ 4:55:18 PM

Rated Blog Entry

I agree, although I still like to hear a different perspective. Instead of, "Don't get mad you didn't get the job," I want my friends to say, "You should feel lucky -- I hear it really sucks to work for that company," or something like that.

[Report as objectionable]

Submitted By: Gladys Mercier

posted on 6/11/2007 @ 9:24:33 PM

Rated Blog Entry

I think most people just want someone to listen, not give advice.

[Report as objectionable]

Submitted By: Lauren Milligan

posted on 6/8/2007 @ 4:37:35 PM

(Not Rated)

Sometimes the best reply to someone who is upset is simply, "yeah, that really sucks." I know that's all I usually want, but some people feel the need to suddenly turn into a psyciatrist and try to 'fix' all my problems.

[Report as objectionable]

Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Erin Di Paolo

Denver , CO

Erin Di Paolo has posted 66 blog entries and 1 comment since joining on 3/18/2006. Erin Di Paolo 's average blog rating is 4.45.

view profile » view other postings from Erin Di Paolo »

SAVE AND SHARE THIS BLOG ENTRY

digg	Google
del.icio.us	Yahoo!
reddit	Newsvine

What is this?

BLOG ENTRY RSS FEEDS

All blog entries

All blog entries in Green Valley Ranch

All blog entries by Erin Di Paolo

BLOG LIST

WANT TO WRITE FOR YOURHUB.COM?

Want to see the stories you write and the photos you shoot featured in the YourHub.com Thursday print section available all over the Front Range and with home subscriptions of the Rocky Mountain News and The Denver Post? All you have to do is register, then post a story or column, start a blog or tell everyonewhat events are happening in town. We will print the best stories, columns, event listings, photos and blog entries in our print sections.

Loading Ad