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GVR Residents! Still pitchfork and torch time!
Contributed by: Charles Spratt on 5/19/2008

Bad news still exists in Green Valley Ranch, that 4,400 home suburb of Denver located adjacent to DIA. The HOA released its budget for 2008 and Dr. Frankenstein is still creating paper monsters! Residents need to check out what the HOA Board is allowing as a proposed budget under the guise of saving residents money!

There is good stuff to put in a witch's cauldron, eyes of newt, I could understand. But the board has decided that " GIS" should be purchased for $38,700.00. I could understand Dr. Frankenstein needing a review of how to assemble monsters, but the beloved board, probably under an enchantment, dug deep to budget $12,500 for " R eserve Study". The office of the witch of GVR (has be be one, because there is no wages budgeted for a living person) has $9,000 budgeted for " office supplies" but no bat wings were specified. Perhaps that is under the " O ther Professional Services" for $18,000.00; or $9,799 for " Misc. Administration". There is $65,430 for " Reimb Legal" so it must be getting expensive to reimb those legals these days! Maybe they are copying those reimb's because copy costs are shown as $6,000 for the year.No wages for someone to press the button, so they must operate on their own! Maybe they are calling them, because the board has a really dynamite phone plan, only $9,000 a year for local service, and you are complaining about $17.00 a month for unlimited text messages!

If you think a few bucks a year for "Bank Service Charges" is too much, well the creative ones behind the budget came up with $2,500; so that has to be some kind of service the bank is providing!

Those aren't even the big items, check out " Insurance", making monsters must really be risky, and being an HOA must really be frightening with no employees, but it is there, for a total of $54,000 a year. Bet your agent would love some of that action, even if the monsters get loose, or the spells hit the wrong house, what damage could a HOA do that justifies such a bill?

Good news! The board is into enhancements, but prescriptions for that kind of aid for the HOA board carries a label of " Residential Enhancements" for a nominal $55,800. Then we have " General Property Maint" for the bargain price of $197,000; but in the same vein, we have fertilization for $24,790 so there had better not be a crop failure!; what with the spirits be enhanced, augmented and fertilized!

What is missing? Well nowhere is there any salaries, no benefits, no gasoline (so you have to BYOB), no truck maintenance, no license plates, no cost for rehabilatation or spell cancellation. There is a " Tree Care" cost of $58,910 but that must be an error because we haven't that many trees that would escape the $197,000 budged for " Landscape Maint" and ten bucks when they have been budgeting in the thousands...the cauldron is starting to stink!

So, before you pick up those pitchforks and torches, go to the website (there is $14,800 budgeted for that service) so navigation should be spell enhanced, and be enlightened. You might think I exaggerate, but there isn't any amounts shown to exist in any bank accounts, no eyes of newt or bat wings inventories,; this perhaps is just harmless smoke and mirrors; unless they really intend to assess each of us $232.00 a year for this nightmare. Maybe you should start looking for those pitchforks and fuel for the torches just in case.


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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: Great Plains Dweller
posted on 6/10/2008 @ 10:01:30 AM
Rated Story
What a lack of understanding on how a large community like Green Valley Ranch works. It would be amusing to see Charles write about Highlands Ranch, they have a lot of the same services, and I bet there numbers are LARGER. All of the services mentioned in this article is well within the norm of a operating HOA/Metro District, without these services, GVR would be in much worse shape! So Shame on you Charles for criticizing something you lack understanding!
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Submitted By: Far Northeast Gays
posted on 6/5/2008 @ 4:18:55 PM
Rated Story
Chuck is trying to drive home prices down so that he can purchase homes cheaper. Once he buys the homes, you watch, he'll stop badmouthing GVR, which has one of THE lowest crime rates in the Denver area. It's sad that Chuck's efforts to drive home prices down will likely work.
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Submitted By: J D
posted on 5/19/2008 @ 8:55:36 PM
Rated Story
The pitchforking GVR needs to be doing is to unhelpful and spiteful people like yourself. This Article provides no value to the community and shows a lack of intelligence and understanding of the true community issues.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Charles Spratt

Denver , CO

Charles Spratt has posted 15 stories and 7 comments since joining on 2/25/2008. Charles Spratt 's average story rating is 1.97.
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