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Greenwood Village [Change Location]

Blog Entry 9 of 11 With a jaundiced eye
Commentary from me and you, the readers as to the events reported daily in the newspaper, on tv and radio.

Wiley Coyote shape-shifts to avoid death


A convergence of events often creates a perfect storm. The recent celebration of Darwin's birthday and the case of the Greenwood Village coyotes is just such a brew-ha-ha.

Now, Greenwood Village is distinctive for two reasons. First, they are the only municipality that I know of who consciously narrowed all their streets and built 10 foot high brick fences to improve their ambiance. While some believe it gives the town a village look, it also creates a canyon effect.

While the local citizens are living the gated-life, the coyotes prowl like junk yard dogs, snapping up kittens and attacking nubile freshmen meandering down the bike paths. It is understandable why snipers have been hired to extinguish the varmits. As soon as the elk are all killed in downtown Estes Park, you will see scope-mounted, jack-booted riflemen perched in hunting stands, ready to take out the devils.

But, from our cartoon days, we all know coyotes are wiley. Ask the roadrunner, if you are a skeptic. So, in a pre-emptive strike, the coyotes have attended the genetics class at Cherry Creek High School for advanced placement students. At first they considered using stem cells to evolve themselves. Then, they encountered a group of students sucking mesquite on a bong, (homework for the shaman class). Perfect, they concluded. We merely need to imbibe a few herbs and shape shift ourself, Carlos Castenada style.

Now, those riflers will need to make another trip back to the Sports Authority and arm themselves with shotguns.

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