Not all butterflies are social, but I have an especially hard time accepting the fact that I'm not a social butterfly.

Inside I'm yearning for companionship, but for me it has always been more important to play it safe. I would startle others if I suddenly became outgoing but not as much as I would scare myself. I don't think I'm ready for so much change.

Even so, I am bored out of my mind, and my curiosity has gotten the best of me. What could I amount to if I tried my best?

I need to know. If not now, when? I'd like to think I am truly ambitious, but when I leave home to go to school, I leave my ambitions and nearly my entire personality at home.

When I'm at school suddenly what becomes important to me is schoolwork - I'm always striving for that A or B. Why would something as silly as a dance matter to me?

Next week is the homecoming dance, and Tuesday is "Stoplight Day," a time to wear red, yellow or green according to your status. It would be easy to avoid wearing any of these colors and certainly wise.

If I were to wear green that would indicate I was free to be asked to the dance, which is true, although I don't necessarily want to be asked. The thought of that scares me because it's never happened before.

Never once have I presented myself as the least bit available much less interested in a guy. It would be too much of a disappointment for a guy to find out I was shy.

I've never had the opportunity to turn-down or say yes to a guy, but I don't know if I even want to. It would be so simple for me to wear green, but I don't want to be impulsive and make the wrong decision.

I'm 17; even so going to a dance seems like a way mature thing for me to do.

I have to get little things like this off my mind before I can concentrate on what's more important: my homework.