It has happened. It has been happening over the past several months, but now the time has come.
I have completely hit the wall and I am reduced to fits of angst, despair, and irrational cravings for Fritos.
I cannot tolerate the news any more and dwell in each day's increasing gloom. If I were a religious man, I would take note of the floods, the earthquakes, the collapse of the economy, soaring food & gas prices, and I would likely think that surely the end of days was nigh.
But nah, really it's just a whirling vortex of bad timing, misfortune, idiocy, corruption, and the collision of compounding impacts from it all. Nonetheless, reading and hearing about it every day makes me very tired.
That is why, Bad News, I am abandoning you. I am shunning you and I deny you entry into my thoughts. Instead, I am extracting the good things that have come about as a result of these trying times. Here are but a few:
- There is nothing cooler than riding your bike to the store, strutting up and down the aisles with your helmet still perched on your head, and leaving with your backpack stuffed full of carefully selected necessities. Pedal home knowing that you saved gas and money, got some exercise, and felt really European for a while. Consider the novelty of planning meals for a couple days at a time rather than cramming your car full of enough groceries to last a couple weeks.
- Staycations are all the rage. Who needs the hassle of packing and rushing to the airport, standing in lines, and paying $4 for a bottle of water? Enjoy your home. Actually
sitfor a while in that living room with the furniture that never gets used. Mow the grass and tell yourself that you love it. Kick back and watch the kids play in the yard. Celebrate if your home still has equity.
- Explore the idea of baking your own bread. To buy a quality loaf of bread made with whole grains, no partially hydrogenated oils, and no high fructose corn syrup (why is that stuff in bread anyway??) you will need to fork over $4 or more per loaf. Go buy some yeast and some good flour, then pull up one of many websites on the subject. Bake away! Show off your lunch at work the next day: "Check out this sandwich! I made the bread myself!"
- Even though you might feel as though the crew at 9 News is family, do yourself a favor and take a break from the latest outlook on the economy. Go 2 or 3 days without exposure to the news. You really aren't missing much, and if anything truly important happens, you will hear about it at the office, at the coffee shop, or from a neighbor. It will do your soul good.
- Explore the Farmer's Market. Buying local produce is so much more satisfying when you know it hasn't been trucked in from the other side of the country several days ago using untold volumes of costly diesel. Sample some heirloom vegetables. Good eatin'.
- Have friends over for dinner. Host a good ol' fashioned potluck and enjoy your kitchen, backyard, or front porch. No tipping required.
- Think of something you want really badly. It doesn't have to be anything really huge. Maybe an iPod, a computer, or a bike. Make yourself pay for it with cash and spare change that you have saved up for a few months, just like when you were a kid. It will help squash the instant gratification urge and make you learn patience. We can all use some patience.
- Take a deep breath of free Colorado air and tell yourself: "It will all get better eventually"