If my memory serves me correctly, I believe Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs coined the phrase, "mirror mirror on the wall..." I was always thankful that my mirror didn't talk to me. I mean, really, could you imagine what it might say? I'd just rather not go there! But, the phrase has taken on a new meaning since I became a mom because my two- and-a-half-year-old daughter has recently morphed into a 26-pound parrot.

We were at the mall one afternoon and my daughter would not listen to me; she was being downright defiant. Yes, this is normal 2-year-old behavior, but I also know that when my daughter starts acting out, it means one of two things ... she's either tired or hungry. In this instance, she was tired, as nap time had long since passed. So, rather than remind myself of this fact and consciously choose to overlook this not horrible but less than desirable behavior while I paid for the outfit I'd chosen, I got down at her level (Super Nanny would have been proud), pointed my finger at her and through clenched teeth said, "That is enough...sit down and be quiet!" She listened for about 3 seconds and repeated the behavior I'd been trying to get her to stop. This time, I snapped. "STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Get into your seat, be quiet and behave yourself!" Of course, she began screaming--out of frustration, not because I'd yelled at her--I apologized profusely to the salesperson and left the store, embarrassed and angry ... embarrassed by my daughter's behavior and angry at myself for not doing what the "perfect" parent does: get her kid home in time for the nap.

My husband and I were amused (and equally horrified) by our daughter's use of shall we say, a series of "colorful" words she picked up during a car ride through the neighborhood as my husband and I searched for our dog, who had escaped from the backyard. I remember my husband looking at me and saying, "That's my fault ... sorry!" We thought it was cute when she looked at us at dinner one evening, announced that she could "speak whale" and proceeded to demonstrate her new skill. That was my clue that she'd probably seen Finding Nemo one too many times. Sorry, honey. My bad.

I realize that these examples, ironically, are mirrors themselves, with our daughter reflecting us back to ourselves. It reflects our parenting style, our attitudes toward the pitfalls every parent faces at one time or another. Like most parents, we absent-mindedly fire off an occasional four-letter word out of frustration or angst. We are guilty of using the TV as a babysitter a little more than we should and we do use "time-out" as a form of discipline when it's appropriate.

But then, there was the bombshell. Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago. I'm on the floor playing with my daughter and all of a sudden, she gets right up to my face, points her finger at me and through clenched teeth says, "Mommy, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" I was stunned by how accurately my daughter repeated the intonation and words that I'd used with her that day at the store. I felt my eyes well up with tears; my feelings were hurt. Is that what I sounded like at the store that day? Did I sound as mean to her that day as she sounded when she retorted them?

In that moment , I realized that my child is my mirror. I realized that she is on this Earth to teach me far more than I will ever teach her. In that moment, I realized that this little person is using my perception of the world and reflecting THAT. I don't want to be the person that I was during that 10 second exchange at the mall that day. I want to model behavior to her that I can feel proud about having her mirror back to me. I know that if I can achieve this goal, I will have succeeded as a parent. Mirror, mirror on the wall, isn't that what parents want for their kids, after all?