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Blog Entry 3 of 32 In Between
Sunrise, Sunset..........and everything in between.

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Facing my fears
Contributed by: Katherine Jerome   on 11/15/2006

The biggest difference between thinking about doing something, and actually doing it is the reaction that I imagine I might get. I play with different scenerios, and think about handling the most uncomfortable outcome with a positive one. If I got into a car again, would I die? Maybe, maybe not. If I wrote an online journal, would people think that I was stupid, or looking for pity, or some sort of reverse voyeur? Clearly, I don't know that either, but maybe we all have an inner scaredy cat lurking about one thing or another. God, I hope I'm not the only one. That would feel so lonely!

My fear wasn't just the garden variety type. My fear varied from the extreme to almost complete phobia and paranoia. When traveling, I was in awe that I arrived at one destination or another in one piece. After a while, I just stayed home to avoid the discomfort I put myself and everyone around me through. The nightmares of breaking glass, and screeching tires were relentless and still creep into my dreams from time to time.

I had to learn about the dynamics of fear, in order to slowly overcome it. I revisited the physical aspects of my body's out of control sensations in order to regain some sort of sheer will to fight back. The tightening of my muscles, sweating, upset stomach, my butt muscles so tightly gripped on the seat, they practically had to be pried off, hyperawareness, the flight or fight response. I practiced again, and again and literally forced myself to relax. I felt like I had run a Triathalon after a 12 mile trip to a Dr. appointment. Biofeedback helped me in a controlled environment before getting into a vehicle, which I was grateful for.

Having fear is a basic emotional response, and is healthy and necessary to keep us safe from risk or threat, and in that context is where I try to keep it from getting me out of control. I use mild caution, and don't overwhelm myself with what might happen. As Dorothy Thompson said, "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."

Allrighty then...........Kat, maybe you are making some progress after all.



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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: Tabitha Dial
posted on 11/17/2006 @ 4:17:11 PM
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Wow, Katherine. Your blog reminds me of some of my good friends who have had to deal with fear and other emotional obstacles. I'm impressed that you are working so hard to overcome your fears and that you are going public in your blog. That takes guts!
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Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 11/17/2006 @ 7:27:04 AM
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Katherine, I think irrational fears and fixating on irrational fears is an all-too common malady. You seem to have overcome yours. So nice meeting you.
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 11/16/2006 @ 5:15:35 PM
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You're doing great. It was really nice meeting you today.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Katherine Jerome

Lakewood , CO

Katherine Jerome has posted 32 blog entries and 540 comments since joining on 8/25/2006. Katherine Jerome 's average blog rating is 4.93.
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