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Blog Entry 14 of 17 One Mother's Mischief
This blog is simply about my life. It's crazy and wonderful all at the same time. I'm a stay at home mom with 2 children that are 13 months apart.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~AmandaJ

Where have I gone?
Contributed by: Amanda Jerome   on 9/19/2007

As I scan my living room floor, littered with toys, diapers, sippy cups and snacks, I laugh nostalgic at how much my life has changed. In the not so distant past I was a student at a University, a friend who always had time for long phone conversations and a well rested individual. In two short years I have become something so different.

After reading a week of unchecked e-mails I opened one that had my whole life in it. It was one of those e-mails that you so frequently get but so rarely read. It was simply called Mom inspiration. It begins with a woman walking her son to school. When they approached the crosswalk the cross guard asked a simple question, "Who is that with you?", the son's response was quick and simple "no one". The woman began to realize that that is exactly who she had become. She was not a person as a whole. Some days she was a pair of hands to fix a broken toy, others she was a chauffeur to take the kids to where then needed to be.

As I read through this email I can't help but shed a few tears. Over the last two years I have become a chef for dinner, a nurse to bandage up owies, not to mention a wonderful cleaning lady. It seems than no one could see me as a whole. Maybe it's not that no one could see me as a whole, so much as I don't see me as a whole. When you become a mother is it possible to be anything else? I no longer have the time for long phone conversations with friends, they always seem to be interrupted by some small tragedy such as the need to be fed right now or the poopy diaper that you're afraid to even change.

I continued to read the email. It went describing a night out with her friends. A friend who had just gotten back from a long trip to Europe handed the woman a gift. As she opened the package she found a book on Cathedrals. Inside the lady had written " To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." It took her a while to really understand what the cathedral book had to do with her life. After some thought and a lot of reading she began to understand. When the great cathedrals were built there was never any idea of who had built them. Here stood this thing of such great beauty with no one to give the credit to. The connection was finally made, building a cathedral was a lot like being a mother. No one sees the hours spent struggling over things that had been done and those yet to come. All the things that happen in a day are like a brick being placed. You can't see the whole picture, because it's never really completed. And even when it is, no one really notices the small details. In the end the woman finishes to say that after her children have grown up, she doesn't want her child to invite a friend over and say "you have to come to my parents house, my mom cooks the best meal on pressed linen tablecloth". All she wants to hear it, "come to my parents house with me, we'll have a really great time".

When I sit back and think of who I am now, it becomes a little clearer. I'm not just a stay at home mom who is great at changing diapers and timid about the future. I am slowly creating two small works of art. My two children are a direct reflection of all the love and everyday duties that my husband and I have. I think if I were to ask my husband about how he feels about who he has become, his response would be a worker bee who "brings home the bacon" for me to cook and put on the table. Despite how different we feel sometimes and how different our own needs and lack of acknowledgment may seem, we're really the same.

I never really thought that I could relate so much to a chain email. This simple story, rather short in content, has made a big impact on me. I'm not saying a week or maybe even an hour from now I won't question who I am. But in the back of my mind I know that my children are my Magnum Opus!


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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
Submitted By: Bill Prather
posted on 9/24/2007 @ 5:53:08 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Excellent! Don't ever, ever, ever!!!!! let anyone speak the words, "Just a stay-at-home Mom." Let me know and I will personally punch said person in the mouth! My wife is the rock who holds our family together, along with everything you stated above. Moms are a gift to families, even if it takes some folks a while to realize it! The toughest, oftentimes most thankless but most neccessary job in the world . . . Mom.
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Submitted By: Amanda Jerome
posted on 9/21/2007 @ 8:13:53 PM
(Not Rated)
Karin, I appreciate your words of avdice! Parenting is simply about spur of the moment, sometimes that's hard to surrender to!
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 9/20/2007 @ 4:03:32 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Reading your words, I do remember that feeling, a loss of self, when my kids were very young, but it seems so distant now. I think you are right surrendering to your current role with your eye on future results, but also revel in those little moments when you feel completely yourself: conversations with people at the park, an evening walk, little snippets of unexpected self-time. However, stay-at-home moms I knew who tried to schedule time for themselves always seemed the most unhappy, because it was usually interrupted!
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Submitted By: Katherine Jerome
posted on 9/20/2007 @ 9:32:35 AM
Rated Blog Entry
You're not invisible, just well hidden under the laundry and toys! It gets easier.......I promise!! :) I heart you!!!!
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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Amanda Jerome

Lakewood , CO

Amanda Jerome has posted 17 blog entries and 22 comments since joining on 5/4/2007. Amanda Jerome 's average blog rating is 5.
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