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Blog Entry 5 of 10 MommyMusings
I struggle to find that perfect balance that I was raised to believe was possible for women who "wanted it all: family, career and white picket fence." This will be a place for me to post my trials & tribulations of motherhood, being my own boss and trying to find the exact shade of white to match the picket fence that so desperately needs painting!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~MacysMom

Papa don't preach, but I'm keeping my baby
Contributed by: Abby Gardner   on 1/2/2008

NASA, where the heck are you? What's taking so long? I'd have thought you'd have been all over this by now. It's official, isn't it...Hollywood really IS another planet?

Now, I'm not one to follow the never-ending onslaught of gossip broadcast on Entertainment Tonight about the latest fiasco and faux pas committed by the latest A-List celebrity. Frankly, I'm not into all that Hollywood craziness; reality there is so far removed from my everyday reality here, that I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around what goes on. Can you even imagine what doesn't get broadcast each night? Anyway, this whole Jamie Lynn Spears thing is just driving me crazy.

First she announces her pregnancy to a tabloid magazine reporter, then her mother's publisher halts the release of a book she's written about parenting, and now, according to what I 'm hearing (since it's all over the news), is that she plans to keep her baby. I'm sorry folks, but something is really wrong here. I am thanking the stars (no pun intended) above that my daughter is years away from the birds & bees talk because I've been pondering how I would be handling this if she were of 'tween age.

On one hand, it's not that big a story. Teen pregnancy has been the topic of many news reports and the subject of many a medical journal study. Jamie Lynn Spears is not the only 16 year old girl who's found herself in this situation, so why all the hoopla? Oh, that's right....and here's where it goes to the other hand...to thousands of "tween" girls she's considered a role model.

I must be living in a cave because my role models were (and still are) people in my every day life. They're the ones who call me out on my crap, or who offer me both solicited and unsolicited advice. They're the ones who cheer me on in good times and comfort me in bad ones. My role models helped mold me into the person I am today.

I don't know the real situation, and I'm not trying to pass judgment, but what message does this send out to all of the 'tweens" out there who look to Jamie Lynn an an example of how to live their lives? That's a tough one. It is certainly honorable that she wants to keep the baby and if that is what is best for the Spears family, who am I to judge? But, doesn't it in some way also reinforce to the "tweens" that it's cool to get pregnant? I guess I'm just a bit confused as to what other 16-year-old girls have the financial resources that Jamie Lynn does, and I find myself wondering if it doesn't somehow glamorize teen parenthood to those kids, not to mention suggest that having money can solve all of your problems? Of course, it cold totally go the other way, too, and be used as a platform to teach these kids what not to do. Reality check, here...the latter is highly unlikely.

Let's be real here...this baby is going to want for nothing when it comes to having food, clothing & shelter, but what about the other stuff that is equally, if not more important? Is Jamie Lynn mature enough to give the baby the attention and love it deserves? If she follows her role model older sister's example we're in big, big trouble, wouldn't you agree? Will she be the one getting up at 2am for feedings and diaper changes? Or, is she simply going to hire a nanny and then go back to her showbiz life?

I am torn about this because I feel like by being a role model to thousands of young girls, it is kind of her duty to address it with them. Part of me thinks she should place the baby for adoption. After all, there are plenty of couples out there who can also provide for a baby and give it a good life. Then, part of me thinks she is acting as a role model by taking responsibility and keeping the baby. That does not mean that I believe people who place their babies for adoption are not being responsible. In fact, I believe it's quite the contrary--it takes a courageous, strong person to give their baby up for adoption. It's the ultimate act of love.

Society has come a long way. There was a time in this country when if you got pregnant and you were a teenager, your family sent you away and forced you to give the child up for adoption. There was no discussion...do not pass go, do not collect $200...you were sent to the home for unwed girls and came home to resume your life as if it never happened. That is what happened to my mom, and thousands like her during the 50s & 60s. Her story has a happy ending but there are thousands of women out there whose stories have yet to be told. I wish Jamie Lynn Spears a happy ending, too.I suppose time will tell.





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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: Erin Feese
posted on 1/2/2008 @ 9:30:01 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Thanks for sounding off on this issue, Abby ... since Jamie Lynn is such an icon for young girls (right or wrong), maybe she'll become a speaker about the challenges of young motherhood and influence girls to think twice about the consequences of sex? Who knows, but that could be a positive outcome of this fiasco. Anyway, I encourage you to check out a great column by Courtney Erker on how women need better role models. Enter 291432 in the Content Finder or here's the link: http://denver.yourhub.com /Lakewood/Stories/Sound-Off /Write-a-Column/Story~291432.aspx
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Submitted By: Bill Prather
posted on 1/2/2008 @ 12:53:42 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Time will indeed, tell. This subject is a bit deeper than my mind goes so I'll address the "role model" part: A man I admire (not a part of my life, but I had the pleasure to meet him in my youth) George Brett once said, "Like it or not, we're role models and we need to act like it." George quit chewing tobacco because he didn't want kids trying to emulate him and taking up that harmful habit. Those role models are still out there, it's our job as parents to help our children recognize them. Or possibly, we can be that role model for our kids. If we're lucky.
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Abby Gardner

Lakewood , CO

Abby Gardner has posted 10 blog entries and 3 comments since joining on 7/13/2006. Abby Gardner 's average blog rating is 4.21.
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