Here's some serious suggestions from current etiquette expert, Peggy Post. You remember Emily Post or have you forgotten her? Well, Peggy is her great-grand-daughter-in-law, and she has decided on taking up the mantel (or mantle, or something like that) as to a series of loose-knit rules to Christmas gift-giving for those who have aided and abetted you during the past year. How much dough or do you give the person or do you give them a gift? To me, it's the thought behind what you do that counts. The rest you'll have to figure out for yourself.

Who to give to if you're NOT me:

Au pair, babysitter, nanny, teacher, day care providers (anything dealing with children is not applicable to me).

Barber, beauty salon staff (also not applicable).

Dog walkers and pet groomers (I have an imaginary dog walker to walk my imaginary dog. Never groom him).

Fitness trainer, massage therapist, garage attendants, housekeepers (never have used any of them). Private nurses, nursing home employees, personal caregiver (they'll have to wait another year or two).

Mail carriers (watch out for U.S. government regulations), newspaper deliverer. This one is okay. You have to give a kid a break. Even at 60 years old, he was still somebody's kid.

And as for the building personnel: Superintendent, doorman, pool cleaner, elevator operator, handyman, trash.recycling collectors (check local regulations), and yard and garden work (all not applicable).

So there's the list. As usual, they have left off every service I've ever performed. Birthday party magician, in home accordion teacher, window designer, and now, artist's model.

Oh, well, I don't tend to notice these little omissions now that I've whizzed past the Golden Years.