Article Contributed on: 1/25/2007 9:39:41 AM
Is it OK for co-workers, who happen to be of the opposite sex, to be friends at the office? What if both are married?
Some people feel this is totally verboten (forbidden), while others don't see a problem with it.
I ask because I work with a man and a woman who are both married, but are buddies at work. What does this mean? They work in close proximity (their desks are next to one another) and
occassionally share meals in the cafeteria located in the office building they work in. They don't hang out exclusively and are often seen going to lunch with other co-workers from their office. However, they are often seen together and everything appears to be innocent enough.
Problem for both these individuals is that they have psycho for a boss and she is constantly interfering in their friendship. What does this mean?
Let me give you an example. A couple weeks ago, the guy (we will call him Keith) was scheduled to be off on Friday. Nothing unusual here as he oftentimes is gone on Fridays. Just so happens the woman (we will call her Suzy) was also scheduled to be out of the office on Friday as well. She had decided to take a vacation day to attend two events at her son's school.
On that Friday morning, their boss (we will call her Barb) called Keith's house at 7:15 am. When Keith answered the telephone, Barb asked him where Suzy was at. Keith responded that he had no idea where Suzy was at. A short time later, Barb then called Suzy's house. Suzy's husband answered the telephone and Barb asked him where Suzy was. Suzy's husband told Barb that Suzy was in the bathroom. Barb then quickly ended the call.
When Suzy came out of the bathroom, her husband informed her of Barb's call. A short time later, Keith called Suzy and informed her of the call he received from Barb.
Suzy went ballistic. Because she and Keith are friends, she (Suzy) is sure Barb thinks there is something going on between them. Because of this, Suzy and Keith are sure Barb's calls were an attempt to see if they were spending their day off together.
Suzy's initial reaction was that she was going to confront Barb and try to nip her activities in the bud. However, upon further reflection, Suzy decided it was probably best for her to drop it.
Remember my initial question. Is it OK for co-workers, who happen to be of the opposite sex, to be friends at work? I am not trying to ascertain your thoughts about how creepy Barb's activities were. I will address her issues in a separate post. I merely want your thoughts on whether you think it's OK for Keith and Suzy, who are co-workers, to be good friends at work.
If it isn't OK, why? If it is OK, at what cost?
In other words, Keith and Suzy hit it off and decided to be friends. They haven't hidden that relationship from their spouses and as a matter of fact often "hangout" with each other as couples. However, at what cost? Even though it appears Keith and Suzy and their spouses don't have a problem with the relationship, it's obvious that Barb (and maybe other co-workers) do not understand the nature of the relationship. Because of this lack of understanding, there's a chance these other outside people may negatively affect not only the relationship between Keith and Suzy, but also their families.
Is it worth it?
What do you think?
To read my other thoughts, please visit my blog at:
www.advice-smoke-and-mirrors.blogspot.com