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Blog Entry 18 of 44 Welcome to The Retroplex
I'm usually in full-blown reminisce mode anyway, so why not make the rest of you poor saps suffer along with me, right?

Here, you'll find no shortage (well...unless I can't think of any new material) of meaningless but ultimately harmless bits of ephemera covering the past 20 or so years of pop culture, and my occasional interactions with it. Whether you're into the iconic or the ironic, sooner or later, I'll probably get around to it.
Watch, as the hilarity ensues! Or, if you prefer, gawk like a shocked passerby witnessing a horrible accident!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~TheRetroplex

Bye-bye, testosterone
Contributed by: Jared Keller   on 12/7/2006

The day after Thanksgiving, my dad and I took our .45s, and headed to the pistol range at Cherry Creek State Park. He was looking to break in his shiny new Springfield Armory WW2 GI model 1911, and I was simply there for the chance to put some more rounds through my Kimber Classic Custom (also a 1911 derivative). Just a few weeks earlier, my brothers, nephews and I travelled to the Pawnee National Grasslands, and expressed our Second Amendment Rights toward all manner of targets, using everything from handguns to 12ga shotguns (and, to top it all off, we left the area cleaner than we found it. C'mon, people, clean up after yourselves; don't trash the National Grasslands!).

In the subsequent days, I had a great many discussions with friends and family on everything from NFL football, to martial arts, to mountain climbing and hiking.

I could actually feel my beard growing more rapidly beneath the skin of my face. My voice dropped at least two whole octaves. I began to respond to inquiries with a series of monosyllabic grunts and chirps.

Pay these things no mind.

Those days are past for me now, for I have done the unthinkable. I have purchased a minivan. Willingly.

Yep. I'm no longer the owner of a lovely Nissan Pathfinder 4x4, with big ol' Bridgestone Dueler Revo tires, skid plates, and a limited slip differential. Now, I sit behind the wheel of a Nissan Quest, enamored with its in-car video system, and car-like ride. What's become of me?

To make matters worse, I can't help bragging about the van's many convenience features to my male friends, who look on in shock and disgust (well, those who don't already have a minivan do, anyway. The rest merely nod knowingly). Can manicures and facials be far behind? Well, yeah...they can, but still. A minivan.

My shame knows no bounds.


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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
Submitted By: Ann Himel
posted on 12/11/2006 @ 12:58:16 PM
(Not Rated)
My heart breaks for thee, Jared. Truthfully, they are like driving your living room around. Which is not all bad, if it weren't for the rotten gas mileage. Pop in a DVD and enjoy the ride - I'm hoping to get at least $2 back on mine when we finally trade it in. As long as you don't decide to wax anything at the spa, I think you still hold your Man Card.
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Submitted By: Brendan Leonard
posted on 12/8/2006 @ 3:46:04 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Hey, my brother just traded his truck in for a minivan, too. Why don't you just paint flames on it?
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Submitted By: Bill Boucher
posted on 12/7/2006 @ 11:17:19 PM
Rated Blog Entry
You still epitomize testosterone for me. Of course, I drive a Cavalier.
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 12/7/2006 @ 7:10:12 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I had a Quest in 1993 and loved it. My husband never adjusted to the concept.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jared Keller

Littleton

Jared Keller has posted 44 blog entries and 57 comments since joining on 12/1/2005. Jared Keller 's average blog rating is 5.
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