It's Thanksgiving night, and we're home to digest the all-day feast and watch the game. I've been going through the massive newspaper ads for the compelling shopping frenzy tomorrow (no, I'm not going). I began to reconsider after reading Rite Aid's ad. The start of the shopping season is so exciting! Page one already has me saving $20 on a $34.99 DVD player! It's a Memorex, and we could use one for the 'upstairs TV.' Hmmm. Poinsettias are only $1.99, too. Those would make nice little hostess gifts.

Pages two and three are boring - bathroomy/medine-cabinety stuff. But turn to page four and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing! I can get the first record player I ever owned for only $59.99! At a mere $45 more than the DVD player, nostalgia comes at a high price. Still, I feel the tingle of excitement over those childhood Christmas mornings begin at the base of my gut. I wonder if my Banana Splits album still sounds any good? I bet Sticky Fingers would sound great. Hmmm. When does the store open?

Hold everything! What's this? Chia Heads on page five are only $14.99! With the $20 I've saved on the DVD player, that's still a savings of $5 - you can't go wrong with a Chia Head. I always wanted one, but after the greatest disappointment to American children we call Sea Monkeys hit our home, my parents were forever jaded. The best we got was the Fry Daddy, and we were lucky to get that. Hmmm. Now the sweet taste of vengeance for childhood depravity is blending with my turkey, cranberry sauce and crescent rolls. It's a culinary dream - or maybe not. They sell Tums at Rite Aid. I wonder if I remembered to put gas in the car?

Page six has the latest version of our cheap-o digital camera that we bought two years ago at $150 for only $88 now. This brings my savings up to $67. Hmmm. Our camera has been dropped a few times, and it would be nice to update it. It works fine, sure, but the new one is so shiny and so - new. I could probably get home before anyone else wakes up.

Page seven is boring enough to convince me that I do, in fact, want to sleep in tomorrow.

Page eight saves the day! My brother- and sister-in-law just had a new baby, and there's a baby monitor that looks like a picture frame so the baby has no idea he is under surveillance! Genius! At a mere $9.99, I'm buying it!

Just think how happy Phil will be when he learns I've saved $47!