I think I've finally figured out the real reason why I blog here. I figure I'm subconsciously hoping that some Liv Tyler or Jessica Alba or Hiromi Oshima look-alike will discover my blog, and be so blinded by my awesome brilliance, rapier-sharp wit, fantastic (albeit somewhat warped and esoteric) sense of humor, and warm, compassionate personality (crusty old curmudgeon status notwithstanding) that she won't even see that I'm about as attractive as Ernest Borgnine - if Ernest Borgnine were an obscure, poverty-stricken hermit - and will come virtually throw herself at my feet and worship the ground I walk on. Or at least offer to buy me a beer. So how's that working out for me? Don't ask. It's not. I figure I have better odds of winning the lottery, even though I don't buy tickets.

But speaking of blogging, what hits and what misses still has me puzzled. I take this as further proof that I'm not normal. Or maybe it's you readers that aren't normal! I mean really, my most-viewed blog entry yet was Exhibitionistic Introspection - 443 views so far. Who would ever think that so many people care about what goes on in my head?! Musings on Mortality and Teenagers is headed there, with 319 views so far, and I just posted it two weeks ago. It's a serious, not-at-all-funny piece. Whereas some of the ones that I think are among my better pieces haven't even broken 100, even though some people have assured me they are quite humorous. Maybe that's not what the average reader wants; maybe they don't like to laugh. Maybe I should stick to writing serious stuff.

Nah. Ain't gonna happen. Life is too serious to much of the time for me to take it seriously. I may never acheive any great fame as a humor columnist, but most the time that's what I'm going to try to write. Or at least try to incorporate into my writing. I may not get a gorgeous girlfriend out of it, but if I can give some of you a chuckle or two I'll be happy.

Enough writing about writing, anyway. You want to know what I want to know? I wanna know where the heck the summer's gone, that's what I wanna know! Seems like just a few weeks ago that I was here complaining of spring fever! I've barely even touched my summer project list, and here it is almost time to start working on my winter project list! Which, oddly enough, is the same list I had last winter and the winter before - I don't get much done during the winter. Regardless, I'm not ready for it!

What I need to do is squeeze in another camping trip. Maybe get my friends together and figure out another small town or two we can invade. Like maybe Silver Plume; they'd never know what hit them...