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Blog Entry 42 of 43 Welcome to The Retroplex

I'm usually in full-blown reminisce mode anyway, so why not make the rest of you poor saps suffer along with me, right?

Here, you'll find no shortage (well...unless I can't think of any new material) of meaningless but ultimately harmless bits of ephemera covering the past 20 or so years of pop culture, and my occasional interactions with it. Whether you're into the iconic or the ironic, sooner or later, I'll probably get around to it.
Watch, as the hilarity ensues! Or, if you prefer, gawk like a shocked passerby witnessing a horrible accident!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~TheRetroplex

It's catalog time, kids

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Contributed by: Jared Keller on 10/29/2007

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

It's a truism, really, and, as is the case with so many other truisms, its relevance can only be realized once one passes age 25, or so.

I suppose it's all some sort of variation on the Circle of Life that Elton John sang about with Mufasa and Simba, and the like. Oh, and I apologize up-front for getting an Elton John song stuck in your head. Sure, it's cruel and sadistic, but as a literary device, I find that it works quite nicely in terms of helping you to remember this piece. Later today, when you find yourself whistling a tune, and thinking of Everyone's Favorite Terrifying Englishman, you'll also remember this column. Oh, sure, you'll also curse my eternal soul to perdition, but nonetheless, you'll remember this column.

This time of year brings to mind any number of emotions and sensations; most of which eventually settle on a form of potent - if nebulous - anticipation. I remember dancing a veritably Papelbonian jig whenever my folks came home from Sears with the annual Wish Book, and such memories are always tinted by the yellows, browns, and reds of autumn. It's just that time again.

Sure, Sears stopped churning out the "big" Wish Book a decade or so ago, but they've continued to issue a toy-only Wish Book each year, with this year's model having just hit the market.

Now that I have a daughter of my own to rope into this whole seasonal sentimentality racket, I'm jumping at the chance. I've ordered a Wish Book for her, and yesterday, we stumbled across Toys R Us' latest "Big Book" of holiday toy ideas in the Sunday paper. I immediately summoned The Girl, handed her a pen, and explained the procedure.

"See, you go through this big book, and find some stuff that you really think looks neat. Circle those things, and that'll tell us what you really want for Christmas" I said, being sure to add that she shouldn't circle everything, because she couldn't have everything for Christmas. She nodded knowingly, and took the pen from me as it it were the wand of Merlin himself. Sure, I knew that the last part of my instructional spiel would go largely unheeded; that's part of the fun, after all. For awhile, at least, the possibilities are endless, and your little kid world is awash in toy lust, and, well... magic.

She laid on the floor at my feet, head propped on little hands, feet slowly kicking at the air, and eyes wide as they surveyed countless Pound Puppies, My Little Ponies, and Disney Princess loot. She circled away, covering pretty much every square inch of the catalog (save for those pages containing dump trucks, because, as she said, crinkling her little nose, "dump trucks are just for boys") in black ballpoint ink, but that's OK.

She won't get everything she circles, and she knows it. For now, however, all that lies ahead of her is possibility.

Now, whether you believe it or not, Christmastime at the Keller house isn't principally about stuff. We're pretty dead-set on covering the proverbial True Meaning at every step in the process. We don't want to raise just another self-absorbed personification of suburban materialism, and we parent accordingly. Still...we all deal with reality enough in this world, it's a pretty sweet deal to be able to bestow just a little hint of wonderment on a four year-old girl every once in awhile, you know?

Circle away, folks, and may your wishes come true. Unless you're gunning for one of those Power Wheels ride-on cars, because man, nobody I knew ever successfully campaigned for one of those, and I'd be pretty bitter if you were the first.

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Showing 1-8 of 8 comments

Submitted By: Barbara Neff

posted on 11/9/2007 @ 1:01:44 PM

Rated Blog Entry

Great points, Jared. I throw away countless catalogs this time of year aimed at the preteen set. I try hard to first help my sons decide how we will help others before allowing them to start with the "I wants". It's a tough row to hoe. What are holidays really about these days?

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Submitted By: Gladys Mercier

posted on 10/31/2007 @ 7:24:48 PM

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Keep the wonderment alive for your little girl as long as you can.

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Submitted By: Michael Rule

posted on 10/31/2007 @ 8:19:42 AM

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I had forgotten all about wish books.......

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Submitted By: Nikki Britain

posted on 10/31/2007 @ 7:31:54 AM

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Bill, no mother wants Santa to bring her little boy a mouth organ.

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Submitted By: Kevin Hamm

posted on 10/30/2007 @ 3:57:19 PM

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I began to make a VERY detailed list with page number references after Santa brought me a croquet set instead of the golf set that I had clearly marked. It wasn't his best year.

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Submitted By: William Boucher

posted on 10/30/2007 @ 2:37:30 PM

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I remember when the catalogs came to the house- for free. Never got any of the musical instruments I circled.

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Submitted By: Brendan Leonard

posted on 10/30/2007 @ 1:15:10 PM

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Caption No. 2 is dead-on.

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Submitted By: Karin Malchow

posted on 10/29/2007 @ 9:49:16 PM

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Everybody got a big kick out of one of my sons when he pulled out his marked wishbook on Santa's visiting day at preschool. (I didn't even know it was in his backpack.)

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Showing 1-8 of 8 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jared Keller

Littleton

Jared Keller has posted 43 blog entries and 57 comments since joining on 12/1/2005. Jared Keller 's average blog rating is 5.

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