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Blog Entry 14 of 44 Welcome to The Retroplex
I'm usually in full-blown reminisce mode anyway, so why not make the rest of you poor saps suffer along with me, right?

Here, you'll find no shortage (well...unless I can't think of any new material) of meaningless but ultimately harmless bits of ephemera covering the past 20 or so years of pop culture, and my occasional interactions with it. Whether you're into the iconic or the ironic, sooner or later, I'll probably get around to it.
Watch, as the hilarity ensues! Or, if you prefer, gawk like a shocked passerby witnessing a horrible accident!

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~TheRetroplex

Science is fun!

Contributed by: Jared Keller   on 9/19/2006

As the next step in my continuing effort to bring you - the YourHub.com blog reader - the most cutting edge research results available on the topic of pop culture, and its heretofore unappreciated impact on your daily lives, I'd like to bring to light a crucial scientific law that could have disastrous consequences should you fail to follow it.

You've likely seen an episode or three of The A-Team, Hunter, or Riptide, at some point. You were likely captivated by the amazingly textured characters, the nonstop action, and untrammeled (meaning "not influenced by former Detroit Tigers star Alan Trammell") depth of the writing. Barring that, you might have been at least momentarily entertained by the sheer volume of stuff that went "boom". As such, you were likely seeing - with your own eyes - a demonstration of what has now become known to researchers as The Stephen J. Cannell Principle (SJCP), wherein any motorized vehicle whatsoever - be it main battle tank, airplane, helicopter, boat, automobile, motorcycle, or presumably, lawnmower - coming into contact with either a large, solid object of any sort, or a bullet of any caliber, will explode; particularly if operated by a "bad guy".

In the attached photos, you can see for yourself a typical SJCP moment, wherein Murdoch blasts away at something with the typical long gun of choice for The A-Team, a Ruger Mini-14, chambered in .223 Remington. While the gun fires a high-power round, one wouldn't assume that the tiny bullet, though travelling at around 3000 feet per second would result in what you see in photo number 2. We see for ourselves, however, that we can't rely on tested ballistic principles, or the pseudoscience of "physics" in planning for real-world disaster.

Given what we know from reliable television sources about the interaction of motorized vehicles with solid objects, it is advisable to recommend that, should you find yourself in a car that's about to crash, a boat speeding toward a reef, or a helicopter being shot at by firearms of any sort, you jump for it. If we've learned anything else from TV action, it's that it's completely possible to jump - and roll - from any situation, escape completely unscathed, and quite possibly, toss out a witty comment in response as the credits roll.

Learn these lessons, kids - they just might save your lives.


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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
Submitted By: John Zwick
posted on 9/29/2006 @ 4:17:34 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Building off Karin's post, I think the reason so many things blew up in 80s TV is the same reason cartoon villains almost invariably fall to their gruesome and certain (when convenient) demise. Really, you've got to wonder why cartoon characters (other than those faced by robots or monsters) ever bothered with weapons. If you can't chop it in half with Blazing Sword, ain't nothing short of a fall off a cliff that's going to kill it. To test the theory, we'd have to put the ineffectual GI Joe laser guns up against long-fall veteran Wil E Coyote.
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Submitted By: Bill Boucher
posted on 9/21/2006 @ 6:45:32 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Kind of like the duck and cover lava episode on South Park.
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Submitted By: Rob Guthrie
posted on 9/21/2006 @ 2:05:50 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Ah, the "jump and roll", my favorite suspense of reality. I think that particular maneuver may have started with James West, though. I am a big fan of the new age version: jumping from higher and higher perches without shattering your femur or any spine compaction whatsoever!
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 9/21/2006 @ 7:37:53 AM
Rated Blog Entry
At the time of A-Team, television censors believed violence could not be shown in "family viewing hours" where anyone got hurt. Of course, this just suggested to the kiddies they could blow up anything and survive. I always liked after a great Cannell explosion when they dubbed in the voices "You okay, man?" "Yeah, I'm ok." Apparently they ran out of time to film the redshirts' miraculous escape.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jared Keller

Littleton

Jared Keller has posted 44 blog entries and 57 comments since joining on 12/1/2005. Jared Keller 's average blog rating is 5.
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