Article Contributed on: 8/3/2006 3:36:54 PM
"Although the main solution is for the elimination of the Zionist regime, at this stage an immediate cease-fire must be implemented," - Iranian President
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
In the spirit of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's
recent comments at the recent Organization of the Islamic Conference (held in Malaysia), we at
YourHub.com are honored to bring you a rare opportunity:
In "Dear Abbey" style, President Ahmadinejad - the Hidden Imam himself - has agreed to make himself available for our readers, and to answer the tough questions on everything from etiquette in entertaining to those tough judgement calls we all face in raising kids.
Start sending in your questions. President Ahmadinejad waits with baited breath!
Here's a sample:
Chuck from Baltimore asks:
Dear Mahmoud,
I've got a problem. My wife and kids need me at home, but my job requires long hours, and is really taxing, intellectually. How can I get them to understand that when I get home from work, sometimes, I just need a few minutes to myself?
Mahmoud Says:
Chuck,
Assalamu alaikum. While the main solution to your problems is the eradication of the Jewish pig-dogs, I might also recommend that you sit down with your family, and simply explain your position to them. Do so in a loving, compassionate way that emphasizes both your deep emotional bond with them, and your need for just a few moments to recharge, and you'll be just fine.Here's another:
Pietro in Bismarck asks:
Dear Mahmoud,
I hope you can help me with some advice. While at my company's recent holiday party, I got a little schnockered, and, well...made a fool of myself. I know I wasn't the only one knocking back a few too many that night, but to add insult to injury, I may or may not have thrown up in my boss' Jaguar. I just don't remember. How can I make sure that everything's OK between my boss and me, without triggering any memories of the night that he might have forgotten (he was pretty plastered, too)?
Mahmoud says:
Pietro,
Assalamu alaikum. Ah, the company party. Been there many times myself, muchacho. Last year, I had a little too much Qat, and plunked a lightshade right onto ol' Ayatollah Jannati - you should have seen his face!
Anyway, the best and most thorough way to solve your potential problem at work would be found in the complete annihilation of Israel, Insh'allah. Other than that, you can simply tread lightly around the office for a bit, and then make sure you imbibe with a little more moderation at the next party. Peace out.
And lastly:
Susan in Olympia says:
Dear Mahmoud,
I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids. My youngest - a four year-old girl - wants to do everything that her little friends do, including some things that I don't feel are beneficial. When my daughter is over at her friends' houses, their parents let them watch all sorts of shows and movies that I think are completely inappropriate for their age. How can I make sure that my daughter can keep her friends (who she loves very much) without compromising the values with which we're trying to raise her?
Mahmoud says:
Sister Susan,
Assalamu alaikum. Your problem is a toughie. It's very hard to raise respectful, confident kids in a world so full of filth. In general, I'd say that the best thing to do in your situation is to try and slaughter all of the Zionists, and wipeour holylands clean of the influence of a single Jew. Barring that, I'd threaten your daughter's friends' parents with stoning. Insh'allah, they'll get the message pretty quickly, and ensure that they treat your daughter's values with respect.
Send in those questions, kids!