My youngest child turned twelve today. While there is no "teen" at the end of his age, I officially declare myself the mother of four teenagers. I'm sure I've read somewhere that "twelve is the new thirteen."

I am always discouraged when hearing parents wish away a child's life stage. Anxiously awaiting a new motor skill or sign of independence, they often miss the unique charm of where they are. Two guidelines of parenting I adhere to are: Live in the Moment and This Too Shall Pass (which includes the occasional swallowed penny.)

In this transitional period, where I am not far enough from the early years to overly romanticize them, I feel reasonably qualified to compare and contrast the extremes of human development. For the purposes of this analysis, "toddler" also includes "preschooler," since I'm sure I've read that "toddler is the new preschooler."

Appreciation for the Simple Things

Toddler: Insists on giving guests guided tours of the new refrigerator features, neglecting to put a glass under the water dispenser.

Teen: Complains he can't find the corned beef anymore and the ice tastes funny, utilizing the appliance 165 times a day.

At Disney World

Toddler: Claps with unabated glee at seeing Mickey Mouse, but spends most of the $60 ticket time playing in the dancing fountains.

Teen: Examines Mickey's ventilation screen to see if he has a cooling unit in the heavy costume, but since doubling every height requirement, rides each roller coaster at least twice.

Following instructions

Toddler: Throwing himself onto the floor, thrashing, covering ears with hands, screaming "No, I don't wanna," demanding complete parental attention.

Teen: Throwing himself onto the floor, unmoving, covering ears with headphones, refusing to speak or acknowledge parental presence.

Party description

Toddler: Loud, chaotic, overpriced food and drink, frenetic activity, puking, meltdown later.

Teen: Same.

Displays of emotion

Toddler: Exclaims "I love you, Mom" when you bring him to a restaurant with soft-serve ice cream cones. Also says "I love you" to the waitress who delivers the soft-serve ice cream cone.

Teen: Mutters "I love you, Mom" when you are weeping uncontrollably due to hormonal changes. Probably also says "I love you" to a teenage girl as the result of his own hormonal changes.