register |  login
Loading Ad
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Tower
Blog
Blog Entry 133 of 175 Suburban Dementia
Expect me to write about the convergence of random events, the persistence of memory (Dali's melting version), juxtaposition of opposites, the phenomena of unintended consequences, and the mundane details of my life. Mostly, I expound on the absurdities of life in general, but the suburbs in particular.

Any sacrifice for performance art
Contributed by: Karin Malchow   on 10/25/2007

A few of my children inherited my peculiar trait of self-conscious extroversion: doing or saying unconventional things, then agonizing about the desired attention.

My shyest son surprised me displaying a theatrical flair during Homecoming Week. On Country Western Day, he meticulously dressed in a grey suit, cowboy hat and boots. When I remarked he may be thematically overdressed, he responded in a practiced accent, "While Ah appreciate the music, don't mistake me for a s***-kicker, ma'am." He reportedly remained in Southern Gentleman character throughout the day, even during a scheduled debate.

My youngest, true to birth order, is the greatest risk-taker, something he often lives to regret. As proof, he requested a barber shop trip yesterday, advancing his Halloween costume. While despising his hair's ginger color and soft curls women envy, for several years he displayed Samson-like pride in its length.

As the costume depends on group involvement, I suggested he first ensure full participation before taking this step. We also investigated wigs. He shook off my concerns. "Geez, Mom, it's only hair."

It would not be the first time a hairdresser approached me as I read Entertainment Weekly, seeking confirmation his fashion sense was parentally acceptable. Once, he wanted his bangs and back "cut into triangles." I believe Yu-Gi-Oh provided some inspiration that year. I shrugged, saying, "It's his hair." She wanted further assurance of no liability, like waiters request when one son orders his steak "very well done" and I say, "It's his food."

So, armed with a photograph of George Peppard chomping a cigar butt, we faced another perplexed stylist. Yes, his planned group costume is recreating The A-Team. While my son complained many contemporaries lacked familiarity, his teachers may experience nostalgia during school costume judging, as long as their presentation excludes simulating vehicle explosions. He already confirmed with the office that he must forgo the cigar, plastic or not.

Immediately after losing several pounds of hair, approximating the Hannibal Smith look, he experienced buyer's remorse. This morning he expressed reluctance attending school prior to Halloween resembling a younger version of himself rather than a 50-something former Special Forces character. I emphasized the white temporary hair dye will age him, with Halloween darkness heightening the effect. Also, humming the theme song will help.

In retrospect, he probably should have cleared the whole costume idea with the mother whose son was tapped to become B.A. Baracus (played by Mr. T, the original King of Bling). His hairstyle is essential to the group identity.




SUBMIT COMMENT

Rate the above blog



Current Rating

Based on 11 user ratings.

Talk Back : submit comments to the blog

*Note: you need to log-in to add a comment or rating.

Showing 1-10 of 10 comments
Submitted By: Mike Keleman
posted on 10/30/2007 @ 6:49:28 AM
Rated Blog Entry
I'm with Nikki, thanks for putting that stupid theme song in my head.....
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 10/29/2007 @ 9:25:36 PM
(Not Rated)
Brendan, They just had to say the "A" was for "attitude" on primetime t.v. Also why every flaming car crash ended with everyone (even bad guys) confirming they were okay.
Submitted By: Kim Price
posted on 10/29/2007 @ 7:36:43 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I pity the fool!
Submitted By: Brendan Leonard
posted on 10/29/2007 @ 9:04:44 AM
Rated Blog Entry
B.A. stands for "Bad Attitude."
Submitted By: Nikki Britain
posted on 10/28/2007 @ 9:37:36 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Can't wait to see the picture but now I've got the damn theme song in my head. And right before bedtime too. Damnit.
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 10/27/2007 @ 2:47:59 PM
(Not Rated)
Gladys, I plan on posting the group shot next week when the plan comes together.
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 10/27/2007 @ 6:41:45 AM
Rated Blog Entry
When in doubt......buzz cut.
Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 10/26/2007 @ 9:09:05 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Can we see pictures of the 2 guys?
Submitted By: Bill Boucher
posted on 10/25/2007 @ 4:56:23 PM
Rated Blog Entry
In retrospect, the reverse mohawk when I was twelve may have been a misstep.
Submitted By: Katherine Jerome
posted on 10/25/2007 @ 12:52:06 PM
Rated Blog Entry
"Buyer's remorse"........priceless! Our oldest sported dreadlocks in high school that now make him cringe when he sees photos. I thought he looked great!
Showing 1-10 of 10 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Karin Malchow

Lone Tree , CO

Karin Malchow has posted 175 blog entries and 1105 comments since joining on 9/14/2005. Karin Malchow 's average blog rating is 5.
SAVE AND SHARE THIS BLOG ENTRY
BLOG ENTRY RSS FEEDS
WANT TO WRITE FOR YOURHUB.COM?
Want to see the stories you write and the photos you shoot featured in the YourHub.com Thursday print section available all over the Front Range and with home subscriptions of the Rocky Mountain News and The Denver Post? All you have to do is  register,  then post a story or column, start a blog or tell everyonewhat events are happening in town. We will print the best stories, columns, event listings, photos and blog entries in our print sections.

ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad

Loading Ad
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad