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Blog Entry 48 of 94 Horoscopically Blonde
Life is pretty funny. From waking up in the morning and seeing yourself naked, to slipping down the driveway waving your arms about like a chicken, it's all about the humor. Death is serious. Life is hilarious. Unless you're a SeaHawks fan. Then it's tragically funny.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~HoroscopicallyBlonde

Guerilla cooking, poootatooooes and wee Irish folk

Contributed by: Jamie VanEaton   on 8/9/2007

Eating a low-carbohydrate diet is a lot of work, and especially when you have children. You can't eat your kids, so you have to learn to cope with them.

In the interrim, while you're making changes to your lifestyle, you find you're trying to hide the Poptarts so that you don't inhale them (you found out that eating them with the wrappers on didn't mean they had no carbs), or you don't buy them at all, and the kids are having a fit.

Trying to switch them over to eating a lower glycemic load diet overall for their health and changing their tastes in a world filled with carby carbness is a feat in itself. Kids make the most interesting faces. You tell them it's healthy and immediately it's like poison to their sugar-laden bloodstreams.

Give them licorice or give them death!

So I've had to become a geurilla cook. No, not a gorilla. My knuckles don't hang that low, even if my chest does.

I cook meals and make small substitutions without saying a word. Changing Jell-o to sugar-free jell-o? A success! Changing flour to thicknthin/.not starch? A wonderment!

Changing mashed potatoes to mashed cauliflower? Stop the car! The kids are getting out. You don't mess with mashed potatoes. Ever. We're partially Irish, and the kids know that without the potatoes, they may as well be beating the Blarney stone with their heads, for there is no luck of the Irish when the Irish be sufferin' troo caulofloower and noot pootatoos.

I gave it a shot anyway. Why not, right? I made the standard buttermilk biscuits (high-carb, I didn't want a mutiny on my hands tonight), and the gravy with with thicknthin/not starch. I boiled up some frozen cauliflower and threw it in the blender with some full-fat sour cream and butter. I also placed a pan of regular cauliflower to the side.

The kids looked at me and yelled, "WOOHOO! Mashed potaotes!" and they did their Irish jigs. Milk schlopped on the floor, and mugs were raised in a toast to mother, who didn't dare keep their wee lasses and laddies from their mashed poootatooos!

They scooped heaps of the white vegetable, mashed to sour cream perfection on their plates, poured on the gravy and dipped their ever-lovin' biscuits. I asked if they wanted any of the cauliflower in the pan and they all winced. "Why have cauliflower when we can have potatoes!"

Aye! Potatooooooooos!

What they don't know won't kill 'em.


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Showing 1-10 of 10 comments
Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 12:19:23 PM
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Mike-- Swing lowwww....
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Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 12:18:59 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Karin-- Potatoes are the debil. I love them, though! Good thing there are substitutions like rutabegga and cauliflower or I would have been a quivering mess by now.
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Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 12:18:05 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Gladys! You're cute! I love that. I might try that... only tell them it was liver. Though then they'd probably throw up. Jokes are only funny when there isn't splatter.
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Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 12:17:10 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Bill, it's devious... until the teenager realized it was cauliflower. Darned blender! *shakes fist*
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Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 12:16:03 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Kim-- I could hear the eye roll on the other end of the phone when I told hubby we were having maushed cauli with kielbasa tonight. It's a work in progress! I'm hoping it's an acquired taste. (Sorry! I didn't mean to give myself five stars. I was rating your comment and made a doopy)
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Submitted By: Mike Keleman
posted on 8/14/2007 @ 6:04:16 AM
Rated Blog Entry
"No, not a gorilla. My knuckles don't hang that low, even if my chest does." Priceless line. Start giving out warnings when those are coming up, nearly shot the morning coffee out the nose.
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 8/12/2007 @ 10:56:34 AM
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I say, anything to get them to eat their vegetables. Wait, aren't potatos a vegetable? I choose to avoid the carb issue. Adult-onset diabetes, here I come.
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Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 8/11/2007 @ 8:17:35 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I once told my kids that the liver I was serving was steak. They loved it! You are cute Jamie.
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Submitted By: William Boucher
posted on 8/11/2007 @ 6:16:35 PM
Rated Blog Entry
You are wicked devious.
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Submitted By: Kim Price
posted on 8/11/2007 @ 7:59:58 AM
Rated Blog Entry
If only my husband was amenable to those kind of substitutions!
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Showing 1-10 of 10 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jamie VanEaton

Longmont , CO

Jamie VanEaton has posted 94 blog entries and 772 comments since joining on 1/24/2007. Jamie VanEaton 's average blog rating is 4.98.
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