1. You have a water ring on your desk because you never want to get thirsty while posting.

2. Your online time is punctuated by visits to the restroom.

3. You've tried watching that thing called "television" sowing your wild viewing oats, but your mind wanders back to what is happening online.

4. Instead of laughing you say, "LOL!"

5. You meet with friends from a message board for lunch in an internet cafe, and you sit across the table from each other and discuss lunch via the internet.

6. You're fingers move while you're talking.

7. If someone gets mad about what you're saying at work you tell them to "S-O-B" if it bothers them or to "leave a comment."

9. You've tried to put your neighbor on ignore.

10. You jumped online quickly to get ideas for dinner and stayed so long, you ended up ordering out.

11. You have friends named "cheesy wet noodle pants" and "BombastaQueen".

12. You talk to online friends on the phone, but you call them by their screen names.

13. Conversely, when the phone rings and someone asks for "poopsie clamato-pants" you know it's you and run for the phone, just as the husband is about to say, "WHO?!"

14. You used to read books and watch TV. Now you're enthralled in the latest smack down over feminine hygiene products and what people think of the View.

15. You run to the bathroom at 1 am and decide stopping by the internet just to see what's new in your email account.

16. You have a laptop, so while you're enjoying the mountains and the crisp fall air, you're still connected to your website.

17. You're driving in traffic with a Snickers wrapper stuck to your nose thinking about what a great story that would be to tell the ladies at your message board.

18. Ditto your husband having a defective Ding Dong.

19. Your house is on fire, and you ask people at the board what you should do.

20. Being able to slap a list like this together in under three minutes, because I have to go make dinner, hope the house won't be on fire, that I don't LOL out loud or get a call from Gorgonzola Lola while I'm busy on my laptop and sniffing the Snickers wrapper.

21. You've trained your dog to "get busy" so you can go back inside and read.

22. You are otherwise affianced with your mate, but you're watching the clock because you promised your friend you'd answer their email by 9:30 PM.

23. You're more excited about shopping for your online ornament swap friend than you are about your own shopping for Chistmas.

24. When you talk about your friends online to people off-line, you neglect to mention they're your online friends, and instead of referring to them by names like Queenbee, you call them, "my friend from California"...

25. You've ever called off an appointment or other date to stay home and visit online.

26. You'd never even think to ask your friend/doctor/rabbi about your armpit itch condition, or that you accidentally swapped the Colgate with the Preparation-H, and now have a minty bum and puckered lips, but you know someone online will know the answer about how to get out of this one.

27. Your husband asks how your friends are, and you know he probably means the ones at your blogging site.

28. When it's your birthday, you run to the seven message boards you belong to because you know that someone has you hooked up with the birthday thread.

29. You donate more to message boards for their operation than you do to the NRA or PBS.