Contributed by:
Brendan Leonard/YourHub.com
Article Contributed on: 6/20/2006 1:54:38 PM
Every time they play
Def Leppard's "
Photograph" at Coors Field, I want to rip the armrests off my seat and run up to the PA booth and beat senseless whoever is responsible for the music selection. I hate Def Leppard, probably more than the all-time most dedicated
Broncos fan hates the
Raiders or the
Chiefs.
To me, Def Leppard represents everything about the 80s that was poor in taste:
Spandex, neon colors, high-top shoes,
side ponytails, etc. Def Leppard was loud, big, and easy to rock out to without wondering why you were nodding your head. Take, for example, a selection of lyrics from "
Pour Some Sugar On Me," a song I remember droning over my long afternoons at the city pool the summer before my sixth-grade year:
Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man
No one knows what the hell that means. Let's not pretend. "I'm Bob, and this is my lovely wife, Demolition Woman."
William Boucher made me remember that when I wrote a
blog yesterday trying to get folks to talk about politics, before the whole thing degenerated into a debate about the band that, to quote YourHub Music Guy
John Zwick, "has nine arms and sucks."
This is not, however, about me hating Def Leppard. It's about you hating whatever band or musician it is you hate the most. Write a story or a blog entry about your least favorite band, even if it's
Milli Vanilli, who I personally don't consider musically significant enough to be worthy of actual hatred. I ran this idea by my boss,
Travis, and we've decided to offer the person who writes the best essay on the band they hate a $7 gift certificate to
Cheapo Discs, located at 2162 S. Colorado Blvd. in Denver. We also may try to get some kind of T-shirt proclaiming you the winner of this contest, which has no official name as of yet.
| I'm also going to create a box that looks like this and link to everyone's entries as they post them, so we can all comment on each other's stories. If you dis
The Monkees, I just might defend them. |
So, for the next week and a half, this blog will contain all the links to all the stories about crappy bands. Employees of this news organization will have an asterisk by their entries so you'll know they're ineligible for the prizes.
Click here to post a story, or
here to post a blog entry. If you're not registered, do that first by clicking
here. When you're done writing your review, let me know by sending an e-mail to
leonardb@yourhub.com, and I'll put your link on this blog.
Here's a few more bands/musicians I hate, in no particular order, to get you in the mood:
Rush. Geddy Lee's voice is like fingernails on the chalkboard to me. This is not an anti-Canada thing; I like
Neil Young. Check out
this performance of "Tom Sawyer," possibly the only good thing to come out of the career of Rush.
Creed. About five years ago, I was in a karaoke bar, and three different people decided to bless us with their renditions of "Higher" in less than 30 minutes. Did you know that if you type the words "Creed sucks" into Google, you'll get more than 17,000 matches?
This is really creepy.
Sammy Hagar. No one was ever nice enough to tell Sammy Hagar that he was talentless, but he somehow got through to the top, where he proceeded to ruin
Van Halen. Remember
Crystal Pepsi? Remember the
Crystal Pepsi commercial featuring Van Halen's "Right Now"? How odd that both of them disappeared afterward.
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