Article Contributed on: 4/11/2009 6:44:39 PM
Recently published research from the University of Denver confirms what many first time parents already know, the joy of parenthood often includes stress and strain on their couple relationship. The Denver study, published in the
March 2009 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, followed 218 Denver-area couples over the course of the first 8 years of marriage. Compared with prebirth levels and trajectories, parents showed sudden deterioration following birth on observed and self-reported measures of positive and negative aspects of relationship functioning. Reporting on the study
the Denver Post indicated that for 90 percent of couples marital bliss dives within a year after the birth of their first child.
Scott Stanley, one of the authors of the study, acknowledges that declines are normal in most marriages but that for couples in the beginning year of parenthood stress becomes a bit more concentrated.
Mothers and fathers showed similar amounts of change after birth. Couples in the study who did not have children, indicated a more gradual deterioration in relationship functioning during the first 8 years of marriage without the sudden changes seen in parents, suggesting that the results seen in the parent sample may be due to birth.
A dad's involvement and attentiveness to both mom and child are important from the very beginning.
And while both moms and dads experience similar amounts of change they don't always experience them in the same way. Marital researcher John Gottman has often related that the greatest gift a couple can give their baby is a strong relationship between the two of them. This involves nurturing the couple friendship and learning how to effectively regulate conflict.
How did you manage the transition to parenthood? Any tips for men (and women) entering this relationship stage?
Visit our
new dads pages for online scenarios from the Power of Two that address this important transition. Also check out the
Boot Camp for New Dads and
Conscious Fathering Classes in Colorado and my upcoming
Bringing Baby Home Workshop (click on the take a class link) based on the research of
John Gottman and associates.
Last but not least for a hilarious yet sad look at the "medicalised" approach to birth see
Ducan Fisher's post of the classic Monty Python sketch on hospital birth. Duncan and others in the UK have been diligently working to improve dads' involvement in the birth of their children and beyond.
Originally posted at
www.coloradodads.com