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Blog Entry 37 of 49 Barry Manilow's Wardrobe
Fans of the 1985 masterpiece about teenage angst, "The Breakfast Club", know that John Bender did have one question for Principal Vernon. To those who have never seen the movie, well, I recommend it. If you get past the title, you may find something in this blog that strikes a familiar chord in your life--something for which to cheer. You may find something worthy of a jeer. Either way, a chord has been plucked, and that’s the most I can hope for. If you find neither---or worse, disappointment---I follow the creed of Aspen's own, the late Hunter S. Thompson: Never apologize, never explain.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~ManilowsWardrobe

20 authors to read (instead of Stephen King)

Contributed by: Rob Guthrie   on 10/4/2006

This is a recycled post from my previous blog life. Since signing up with YourHub.com I've not frequented there. But I think, when creatively dry, I will grab a piece from there and regurgitate here.

This will be an occasional filler post (continuing, at least, until I reach the number of 20). You should know three things about this list:

1. These are fiction authors I highly recommend.

2. The reasoning behind creating such a list is, at least in part, vindictive (see below).

3. These authors really are better than Stephen King.

Now for the bitter part.

I grew up a child (and young man) reading Stephen King. As an aspiring writer, you could say he was my hero (he was). No, I wasn't raised on the classics, which is unfortunate. I find Homer, Joyce, and Dante tough reads (which is part of the reason I am not a better writer, plain and simple).

Even later in life, as an always-writing, forever-cutting-my-teeth, college student, I idolized King. Eventually I joined the day-job workforce, as most aspiring artists do - which is in part what keeps us aspiring, I suppose. I spent the better part of 15 years providing for my family in a job about as distant from writing for a livingon the sun is from the moon.

So flash forward to me at 36, living here in Denver. Having just read On Writing, King's own definitive book which details his personal trek as an aspiring writer, I was presented with a Golden Opportunity: I read in a local paper that The Rock Bottom Remainders, a band consisting mostly of famous writers (of which, at the time, King was a member), was coming to the Gothic Theater. Further, for a paltry sum of $300 ("paltry" being used with the most dripping sarcasm I could find lying around at the time this was written) a person could attend a "meet and greet" before the show, throwing back hors d'oeuvres and mingling with the writers.

Wow.

I won't keep you in suspense. King was a complete ingrate. He was as disingenuous as they come, couldn't have wanted to be there less and was making sure everyone knew it. Turns out when it comes to his fans, he doesn't believe in idolatry (don't get me started on celebrities who make millions off their fan base and then decide they don't like their fan base).

He was so unapproachable I had to force myself on him to get a picture (not something I am proud of, nor something I would normally even do). I was in a state of shock. I had wanted so much to talk trade with him, maybe garner a small table scrap of hope from one who has fought for sustenance in the rough and tumble world of literary impossibilities and come out sated on the other side. In other words, I really just wanted to have a conversation with the man (not sure whether that was the meet or the greet but for $300 I was sure it fell in there somewhere between).

I brought only one book for him to sign (others brought stacks of all his classics: Carrie, Cujo, Christine, It, The Stand). I brought On Writing. I was the only one there who did. But do you think Stephen King, through even something as trivial as a twinkle in the eye, recognized that here before him, Dear Reader, was a fellow hopeful, a man who was still living in the ethereal dream of one day becoming a writer like himself? Do you think for even one nanosecond of time he acknowledged the fact that some had paid money they couldn't afford to actually meet the filthy rich author?

Don't hold your breath . King placed his scrawl on my book with so much disdain he might just as easily have been signing his own death warrant.

The night, however, was not a total bust. I met sports columnist and Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, as well as humorist Dave Barry. Albom and his wife were gracious and talkative, posing for pictures and asking about Denver, while Stephen King conveniently disappeared after devouring a plate of grub.

Dave Barry, in addition to being just as gracious as Albom (and, later, stealing the show), actually wrote me back from his paper in Miami after I sent a note thanking him for the opportunity.

My apologies for the long, drawn out explanation of why I have bitterly included King in my design of this continued post. I promise future posts on this subject will focus exclusively on the recommended authors.

Now, since I have wasted most of my time here, and since I am not listing these authors in any particular order, let me just recommend one author this go around - one of my favorite contemporary reads:

Thom Jones.

Jones has written several collections of short stories ( The Pugilist at Rest, Cold Snap, and Sonny Liston Was a Friend of Mine).

Once you get past the heavy ex-fighter thread that ties many of these tapestries together, you will find an author who grabs you by the short hairs, drags you around the room like a rag doll, tosses you in an exhausted, disheveled heap, and apologizes for nothing. Jones is, in my opinion, one of the most talented writers of this generation.

And finally, in the spirit of offering up credit where credit is long overdue, let me thank my good friend MF, who in light of my sheltered existence in the dark, chewing on the rind of Stephen King all those years, offered me up a flashlight and the fruit of his "reading list" (and oh what a juicy, delectable fruit it has been to sink these hungry teeth into). I owe much of my current list of contenders to him.

Boodles and ice to you, MF.

And to Stephen King?

A highball of turned milk, straight up. Choice beverage of the solipsistic hack.


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Showing 1-9 of 9 comments
Submitted By: Brendan Leonard
posted on 10/13/2006 @ 4:00:41 PM
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Another author to read: Augusten Burroughs.
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Submitted By: Rob Guthrie
posted on 10/7/2006 @ 7:39:10 AM
(Not Rated)
Firstly, I admitted I was bitter, so pointing that out shows no insight. The people attending paid $300 to meet the authors and have a short evening with them. I did not approach King on the street or when he was with his family. If he is going to pocket the cash, for a few minutes he should be gracious and act like he hasn’t forgotten where he came from (“Carrie” was rejected by over 30 publishers). Second, equating “bestseller” and quality is poor logic. At any given point, the top five movies at the box office will include films like “Jackass Number Two”, “The Dukes of Hazzard”, and “Are We There Yet?”. This truth does not bestow the honor of “great actor” on Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, or Ice Cube. It shows the public’s lowest common denominator in taste. King’s books make the bestseller list simply by being published. Of the 14 novels Kurt Vonnegut wrote in the first five decades, only three made the bestseller list. “Slaughterhouse-Five” was not one of them.
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Submitted By: Bill Boucher
posted on 10/6/2006 @ 11:26:58 PM
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Opinions are like Tylers. Everybody has one.
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Submitted By: Tyler Braddy
posted on 10/6/2006 @ 3:42:06 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Doesn't it seem as though Rob is a little bitter? A LOT bitter, perhaps. Jeez, he acts like the guy came to his house and beat his wife (if he has one). If anyone has a preoccupation with his own feelings, it's the guy with the cheesy grin in the picture up there. Being a great writer doesn't make one a great person. Let's not mistake the two. I believe you would have gotten a similar sort of reaction from Kurt Vonnegut - he's a crotchety old man, very set in his own ways - or Dalton Trumbo (did none of you read JGHG?),but probably not Douglas Adams. But don't kid yourselves: Stephen King is a great writer. Being the bestselling author alive doesn't somehow make him uncool, unless you're a complete hipster, then maybe. Get over yourselves. If none of Stephen King's books had made it to the bestseller list, you would all be commending him on being a tortured artist and an underrated author. How brave he was to be out in public or something. What a crock.
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Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 10/5/2006 @ 1:18:00 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I'll never read a King book again, although I got a big kick out of the serialized format of "The Green Mile." Also love Sedaris, Vonnegut and Adams. When I was a teen, I worshiped Anthony Burgess and Dalton Trumbo.
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Submitted By: Delete Me
posted on 10/5/2006 @ 11:15:00 AM
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He (King) was probably wacked out on pain killers from being run over by a fan. Or he could just be an arse. Or probably both.
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Submitted By: Tabitha Dial
posted on 10/5/2006 @ 10:06:41 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Kurt Vonnegut is awesome. I was holding off on blogging about favorite books and which five you can not live without ... maybe now is a good time to blog it up. My favorite author is Douglas Adams. Sorry about the King incident. Maybe it was a very very bad day for him ...
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Submitted By: Meagan Savage
posted on 10/4/2006 @ 9:44:38 PM
Rated Blog Entry
You know, that Stephen King thing shocks me and yet, at the same time, it doesn't at all... interesting...
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Submitted By: Joe McDaniel
posted on 10/4/2006 @ 8:39:23 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Oh what fun we would have comparing favorites! I grew up without TV and devoured books with a heavy British influence (A.J. Cronin, R.F. Delderfield) and an excess of Africa themes. Three of my favorites are . . . but wait; maybe I should blog about them . . .
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Showing 1-9 of 9 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Rob Guthrie

Parker , CO

Rob Guthrie has posted 49 blog entries and 302 comments since joining on 6/15/2006. Rob Guthrie 's average blog rating is 4.99.
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