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Blog Entry 2 of 8 Seriously...

Seriously - a saying that captures so many moments in life so accurately.

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When did you become a real adult?

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Contributed by: Jennifer Coppola on 11/17/2006

I have to admit, I sometimes feel out of place in the world and am just coming to a point in my life where I actually feel like who I am suppose to be in my skin. I am number three of four kids with my older brother and sister both almost a decade older than myself and my other sister three years younger. In our house, it was almost like there were two sets of kids and I was always told that I acted as if I was the eldest child. So it goes without saying that I have always challenged what people have told me and I also have gone down the path that isn't always of least resistance.

I was an ugly duckling of sorts growing up, shy, smart and athletic. My parents taught us that being a girl is not an excuse for not diving in and getting things done. I wasn't afraid to get dirty, fight with the boys, physically work hard or on the flip side, get my nails done, dress up or enjoy a good brow wax. I came out of my shell some in high school as I foundparts of my own identity and grew into my body. I was no longer a wall flower and was involved in so many activities and clubs that I lost count my sophomore year. I did the whole rebellion thing not wanting to do what my parents wanted me to do and in turn, school suffered. I made it through though and went on to college. Nothing too exciting there - my stories probably equal those of most people. I changed my major three times, didn't like being in school anymore, fell in love and that was the end of my college career (some day I'll go back).

We had our first child just after my 23rd birthday, which is young by today's standards. Most ofour friends were still in college and single, while we were buying diapers and a house. Without a degree I had to struggle to make a career for myself, but hard work is not an issue for me and I am fortunate enough to have had great mentors and leaders in my jobs. I have also learned many lessons in the real world dealing with people that college could never have taught me. We also weren't married. Actually bought and moved into our second housea nd celebrated our eldest's third birthday before that happened. Had our second child when I was 28 and now face my 30th birthday in February.

All the while, I thought I was an adult. I don't relate well with people close in age to myself, my husband is five yearsolder than I am and most of our friends are mid to late thirties. Sometimes I am given a hard time for beingthe young one in our group, but I share the same stage in life as our friends and that is what draws us together. So why would I ever question whether or not I was an adult?

It came one day when my dad stopped in after work and asked if I wanted to ride down to Pueblo to see my great aunt. At 93, she was ready to move on and that night happened to be the last time I saw my aunt alive. We got to Pueblo around the end of the dinner hour and my aunt's sister was at her house -as Rockwell as it gets - two little old ladies drinking tea and catching upon the day's events. My dad busied himself in the kitchen making us coffee and we settled into casual conversation. But it's not what I remember as the conversation that these three wise people in my life would normally have.

This was conversation about how cute the heart doctor is and about getting tipsy the previous weekend by one too many shots of bourbon. Conversation flecked with the occasional cuss word and the words that act as stunt doubles for cuss words. Conversation that I would have with my friends and siblings and coworkers. Conversation that my dad in his sixties and my great aunts in their nineties do not have, let alone include me in. As we drove home later that night, I realized that I was no longer just an adult, but a real adult.

So some might say - wow, that was a long time getting to the end, but that's not the end. The end of the story was not only realizing on the ride home that night that I was a real adult, but that the adults in my life that were my idols, mentors, advice givers, support unit and doers of no harm or evil - were real adults too. It was an earth shattering moment for me, but it gave me a better perspective on life. We are all real adults with vices and frustrations and bad days and secret crushes on the heart doctor. So next time you feel disappointed in someone, I just ask that you remember this.

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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

Submitted By: Tabitha Dial

posted on 11/19/2006 @ 8:28:30 AM

Rated Blog Entry

"As Rockwell as it gets". "Words that act as stunt doubles for cuss words". Love your writing. Hope you will blog a lot more about your children, husband, friends and the career you've made for yourself. Thanks for posting.

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Submitted By: Brett Ballard

posted on 11/18/2006 @ 8:44:18 PM

Rated Blog Entry

Real adulthood huh. I figure once I recognized my parents as people capable of mistakes and just doing what they can as opposed to revering them as an infallible authority.

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Submitted By: Joe McDaniel

posted on 11/18/2006 @ 3:19:37 PM

Rated Blog Entry

I recall how, in my 30s, I would get very uncomfortable when teenagers or even some in their early 20s would call me "sir." I guess I was an adult then, but it took me a long time to figure that out!

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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jennifer Coppola

Parker , CO

Jennifer Coppola has posted 8 blog entries and 2 comments since joining on 11/15/2006. Jennifer Coppola 's average blog rating is 5.

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