It is important to take responsibility for what we put into our bodies. The Surgeon General advises us to be aware of what we are eating and drinking and recommends we read the labels on packages and containers. FDA regulations require food and beverage manufacturers to provide consumers with detailed information about the contents of virtually every product we buy. These regulations apply to cosmetics, health and dietary supplements and just about everything we rely on in our daily lives to care for our bodies. Even bottled water, which doesn't contain anything but water, has a list of contents in compliance with Government regulations. Thank goodness our government is looking out for us.

Dietary guidelines change frequently, making it hard on us ordinary people to keep up. Reading labels can, however, lead to stress. Stress, it seems, can contribute to any number of serious health problems. Simply reading the sales message on a label can lead to serious anxiety attacks - or worse.

I love dry roasted peanuts. This morning I reached onto the pantry shelf for the Net WT 3lbs 4oz (52oz) 1.47kg can of Dry Roasted Peanuts (note: we buy in bulk from Costco) to have a healthy, nourishing, serving of those tasty little legumes with my breakfast. The label informed me that these were America's Favorite Peanuts! In addition they are 1: Naturally Nutritious, 2: Satisfy Hunger, 3: 0g Trans Fat and, 4: Heart Healthy*. Note the tiny weenie little asterisk next to the phrase Heart Healthy*.

*"Scientific evidence suggests but does not prove that eating 1.5 ounces per day of most nuts, such as peanuts, as part of a diet low in saturated fat & cholesterol & not resulting in increased caloric intake may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. See Nutritional Information for Fat Content. (1.5 oz. is about 59 pieces)" Has anyone any idea what this means?

I raced to the office to get my calculator. By dividing the net weight of nuts (52oz) by the 1.5 ounces per day, referred to above, I discovered that I could get 34.67 servings from this one container. However, under the Nutrition Facts column a serving size is given as 1oz. or 52 servings per container. 1oz is about 39 pieces. So - should I eat 59 pieces or 39 pieces? The fact that there are no Trans Fats is offset by the fact that each 39 piece serving gives me 130 calories from fat. There is 14g of total fat in one serving, of which 2g is saturated fat, 4.5g polyunsaturated and, of course, let's not forget the 7g of monounsaturated fat. Good grief.

I forgot to mention the tiny little warning in red - "Choking Warning. Do not give nuts to children under 6."

Before sitting down to reflect for a minute on my future relationship with dry roasted peanuts, I stopped by the fridge and grabbed a cold soda - diet, of course, for obvious health reasons. While sipping it slowly to avoid gas buildup in my intestinal tract, I read the label and discovered I was imbibing potassium citrate, Benzoate and EDTA, Aspartame, acesulfame potassium, acacia, glycerol ester of wood rosin, brominated vegetable oil and carob bean gum. On the plus side it had very low sodium and no caffeine.For the curious reader I should add it contained phenylalamine. And all this time I thought I was just drinking a Sparkling Peach Citrus flavored soda with natural flavors.

Later, as I showered, I shampooed my hair with the application of sodium laurylnsulphate, cocamidol propylbetaine, sodium chloride (know that one - its salt!), glycine soja seed extract, prunus persica fruit extract, sodium benzotriazolyl. (Note: the list has been shortened due to lack of space - for complete details see bottle of shampoo on the shelf in my shower.) I began to realize that the lustrous, shining, head of hair that I love so much is undoubtedly due to the occasional application of this mystery chemical formula. On the subject of shampoo,a friend of mine once said, "No more shampoo for me, I insist on realpoo."

After showering I applied a foam shaving cream to my moistened face, anticipating that the "unique refreshing ingredients" would give me "a conditioning sensation" I could "actually feel for the most refreshing shave ever!" Wow. The product contents include sunflower oil, triethanolamine and tocopherol acetate (vitamin E) and the 9oz can I used is "33% more than the 7oz size." According to my calculator 9oz is actually 28.5% more than 7oz - but I'll let it go for now.

My after-shave lotion contains "water" along with diazolidinyl urea and other stuff. There is an insecticide in my garage that contains diazinon; wonder if this is similar? And isn't urea the stuff that comes out of our bladders? Perhaps I shouldn't even mention my underarm deodorant which contains a ' musk' fragrance. Have you any idea where the musk fragrance comes from? This is scary stuff.

As an immediate stress reducing exercise I am going to only consume things that have stress-free labels like that on oatmeal. The only ingredient in oatmeal is oatmeal. Bananas are good, the label says Chiquita - that reminds me of an old ABBA hit from the 70s. A sack of beans contains - beans! I am afraid to look at any more labels. I only hope that a packet of steak really contains meat and that milk is not "exztract of bovine." Life is stressful enough without getting bent out of shape over math and chemistry.

Never mind what the Surgeon General says. Avoid reading the labels. If that doesn't work take two aspirin and email me in the morning.