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Blog Entry 87 of 178

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~StealthlyHumor

Rutting Season
Contributed by: Kevin Platts   on 2/7/2007

Now many people reading my title probably believe this is an entry about hunting. This is good because I probably now have a bunch of guys reading it, but could be bad as many women might have skipped right past. Hopefully both men and women will take a minute to read my thoughts and will realize this has absolutely nothing to do with hunting, but has everything to do with relationships.

Anyone would reads my blog entries on a regular basis will realize I speak about "ruts" quite a bit. We all experience ruts when we allow ourselves to be "hemmed in" and do not venture outside the rut we live in. On the surface, this may appear somewhat comforting. We get used to our norm and don't really have to worry about things outside the rut (or the norm). Why wouldn't this be good? It isn't good because typically we are involved in relationships and ruts are very bad for relationships. Ruts lead to boredom and I think we all know what happens when we are in a boring relationship - we begin looking elsewhere for excitement. No one (except those people who always seem to seek turmoil) wants this. We want to be in a good relationship where there is excitement on a fairly routine basis.

How are ruts bad for relationships? Ruts are bad in many ways. First off, a relationship can be in a rut and/or individuals within a relationship can be in ruts. Relationships that are in ruts are the type of relationships I spoke about earlier. They can be quite boring. You've seen these relationship ruts before. This is where you know your exact schedule for the week because the schedule never deviates. This can be good at times, but I believe for the most part this is bad as it leads to boredom. Before you know it, five years have passed and you can't remember where the time went and don't know if you had any fun during that time. This isn't good.

When it comes to individuals within a relationship being in their own ruts, I believe we all experience this at times. We are in a bit of a rut, but our partner doesn't appear to be in the same rut. As a matter of fact, when we are experiencing this type of rut, it may not appear as if we are ever on the same page as our partner, which can lead to immense feelings of frustration. Things that are important to us don't appear to have any significance to our partners. Eventually, we begin to grow apart as we never seem to see things eye-to-eye.

This is all compounded when children are involved. It is one thing to feel "out of sorts" with our partner on personal issues, but is much worse when we can't seem to see eye-to-eye in regards to the children. Relationships are hard enough as it is, but being in constant disagreement in regards to children makes it very difficult for the relationship to succeed. Ruts involving children typically lead to one partner almost exclusively dealing with the kids, while the other partner is almost a spectator. Again, a break every once in a while is good, but long term, one parent being absent from the "family" can and often leads to serious animosity within a relationship. Although it is great for one parent as they are allowed to relax somewhat, the other parent is carrying all or almost all the burden, which can be seriously draining.

I recommend that whenever possible new things to do be added to all relationships. his often brings new and exciting things into the relationship and ensures it remains "fresh." Mix it up a little bit. One partner can come up with an idea one time, while the other partner gets to pick the new activity the next time. Just ensure that whatever activity is picked is an activity your partner at least has a chance of enjoying. If you know your partner doesn't like sports or doesn't like to knit, then don't pick that activity. Activities should be activities that will bring excitement into the relationship and when possible, should be something relatively new that the two of you haven't experienced.

So, when possible, ensure you are doing your best to escape whatever rut you find yourself in. Trust me, the view is always better when you aren't in a rut trying to see past the everyday things in your life.

To read my other thoughts, please visit my blog at: www.advice-smoke-and-mirrors.blogspot.com


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Kevin Platts

Parker , CO

Kevin Platts has posted 178 blog entries and 5 comments since joining on 5/16/2006. Kevin Platts's average blog rating is 4.8.
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