So, why would any parent lock their child out of the house? Why would any parent beat their child? Why would any parent emotionally and physically scar their child for life? These are good questions, but I don't know that there is a good answer.

In the case of my parents, I really don't blame my mother, but lay it all at the feet of my father. My mother was basically helpless and was emotionally and physically abused herself. There was virtually no way she could escape the terror of my father. Some might be sitting there now saying there is always an option, but trust me, she really didn't have one. For all intense and purposes, my mother and us 5 kids were stuck there. My older brother joined the Marines as soon as he could, while the 2 nd oldest joined the Army. My sister didn't join the military, but married an Army man. When it was my turn to escape, I joined the Air Force. Only the youngest stayed there and never tried to escape. In effect, each of us, save for my younger brother, bolted away from my father as soon as we possibly could. The youngest continues to live near my father and looks to him for financial support to this day, even though he now has two children of his own.

Looking back, I now recognize that both my parents were alcoholics. I knew they were always drunk as I grew up, but never knew until I reached adulthood that they were truly alcoholics. Both my parents got better about 15 years ago when they both quit drinking. They were actually decent people once they quit. Unfortunately, by then, I had virtually no relationship with them. I'd stop out of obligation, but there never really was a bond. Unfortunately, I have three kids of my own and they never had a relationship with my parents either. As a matter of fact, it's almost as if there's a cloud hanging over my father (my mother passed away about 5 years ago) and my kids absolutely can't stand being around him, even though he is better now.

This all means my father is a very lonely man. He continues to provide financial support to two of my brothers. He doesn't complain about doing this at all. I am sure he now realizes all the mistakes he made as we were growing up and financial support is his way of trying to make amends. I certainly don't want his money, but even if I did, it would be too little - too late.

I could have grown to be just like my father. Fortunately, I never understood why he did it to us, therefore, I could never do the same thing to my own kids. I hope this is the legacy that I will pass on to my kids, my future grand kids and then onto their kids.

To read my other thoughts, please visit my blog at: www.advice-smoke-and-mirrors.blogspot.com