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Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~StealthlyHumor

Your cheatin' heart
Contributed by: Kevin Platts   on 9/19/2007

We all know there are many good reasons not to get involved in a relationship with someone when we and/or they are already in a committed relationship.

I am going to forego talking about all the obvious reasons and focus on a secondary reason that can have long-lasting effects on anyone who chooses to do this.

I am talking about the mental effects these types of relationships can have on someone. Lets look at it. Now correct me if I am wrong, but for some reason I hear a lot about single women getting involved with married men.

This isn't to say men don't also do this, but seems like there is a greater chance of a single woman being involved with a married man than a single man being involved with a married woman.

I don't know why this is. Well, it might be because men are manipulators and are more likely to try to get a little something "on the side" than a woman is.

Anyway, have you ever thought about the mental anguish a person involved in this type of relationship must go through. On the man's side, he basically is afraid the relationship will be discovered.

I imagine this would be rather stressful, but nothing compared with the anguish the single woman is going through. I will be the first to admit this woman is in this position because of the poor choice she made.

However, the purpose of this post isn't to place blame, but to give all of us a better understanding of the mental anguish a person goes through after they have made a decision to be involved in this type of activity.

From my perspective, I would imagine this woman would have more anguish. When she first becomes involved, she is obviously physically attracted to the man, but this is often replaced by true love.

Initially, she is willing to put up with her man living with another woman, spending time at home with his kids and spending very little time with her. This is because the relationship is still exciting to her.

Eventually, if the relationship continues, she will more than likely begin to fall in love. As her love grows, she will soon become dissatisfied with the amount of time her love interest can and/or will spend with her. She will soon start to make demands of the man and expect that he will meet them.

Now a couple things are possible at this juncture. The man might actually commit to her and leave his wife/family to be with her.

However, remember most men are manipulators, therefore, they may be telling the woman they are going to do this, when in fact, they have no intention of doing this. The man is going to draw this out as long as possible because he likes getting a little "something something" on the side.

The woman will typically believe the man's statements as he is telling her what she wants to hear. At this point, he may actually make more of an effort to spend more time with her as he is trying to sell her something.

This will give her the impression he is to be trusted, but eventually she will figure out he has no intention of every being with her. At this point, most people will end the relationship.

Some will continue even though they know they are being manipulated as they don't feel they will ever meet another man to meet their needs.

Can you imagine the turmoil going through someone's brain when all this is going on? Think about it. One minute feeling like this person actually wants to be with you.

The next minute wondering why you don't get to spend much time with this person. Constantly reassuring yourself it will all work out, but always having a gut feeling that it won't.

Hard for most of us to ever understand why someone would put themselves in a situation like this. Especially since there are tons of stories like this out there.

Shouldn't these people have a better understanding of what's going to happen? From my vantage point, it seems like people put themselves into these situations because they feel they are different and that they can make it work.

Plus, it's easy to arm chair quarterback these situations, but far different when you are the person involved and your own emotions are involved. In other words, it's easy to get sucked in.

I try to understand why anyone would subject themselves to this type of heartache, but no matter how I look at it, it just doesn't make sense.

These type of bad decisions lead to a lot of heartache and anguish, so why put yourself and others through it???

To read my other thoughts, please visit my blog at: www.advice-smoke-and-mirrors.blogspot.com


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Kevin Platts

Parker , CO

Kevin Platts has posted 178 blog entries and 5 comments since joining on 5/16/2006. Kevin Platts's average blog rating is 4.8.
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