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John Garrett, BA, CHT, EFT-CC, will be providing information on how to improve the human condition via various technologies and Mind Management Techniques.

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Seven steps to improve relationships

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Contributed by: John Garrett on 2/11/2008

Improve Your Relationships

John R. Garrett
Author of
Optimum Mind Management
Optimum Mind Management Technologies
Parker, Colorado
303-884-3566
OMMTech.com

Unless you live alone in a cave, chances are that you interact with people on a regular basis. You deal, almost daily, with relatives, friends, co-workers, supervisors, subordinates, customers, clients, service providers, strangers. People you know and people you don't know. Our focus for this report will be your relationship with your spouse or significant other. That is the person you are supposed to love, and who is supposed to love you.

So, how's it going with that? Is everything always good? Do you have conflicts, arguments, verbal fights? Do you, on occasion, say something you regret later? Do you carry a grudge? Do you find it hard to say you're sorry? Do you find it hard to forgive? Do you regret what you may have said or done? Do you exaggerate your partner's faults? Do you gossip with your best friend about your difficulties? Do you lie to yourself as well as your partner? Do you stay awake at night rehashing the latest disagreement?

Do you want another way to be? Do you want a strong, loving relationship? Do you want to be able to resolve conflicts with a minimum of angst? Do you want to continue your life with that person?

Here are 7 Steps you can take to immediately improve your relationship with that special person.

Step 1
Make the decision and commit to keeping and improving your relationship. This is the key to the entire process, not only for relationships but every goal you may have in your life. If you don't, then nothing will change. You will continue to do what you have always done and get the same results.

Step 2
Be kind to your partner and yourself. Treat your partner as you would like to be treated. Think about all the ways you would like to be treated and then treat your partner in those ways. Remember, you attract more with honey than with vinegar. In reality, it is the little things that people do for each other that count the most.

Step 3
Communicate with each other. Talk!! But, make sure that you are in fact talking and not yelling, denigrating, accusing, cursing, or otherwise making it a one-sided diatribe. Use the 24 Hour Rule: If something upsets you about your partner, take the time to calm down, evaluate the situation, and if it needs to be discussed, bring it up within 24 hours. If, after calming down, you decide that it really is an issue about yourself, and not about them, forget about it. If, however, you feel that it needs to be discussed, do so, calmly and rationally. Be willing to say, "I'm sorry". Be willing to look at your partner's perspective. Here is where the EFT process can be of great help in reducing the negative emotions surrounding the situation.

Step 4
When your partner tells you of a success, congratulate and celebrate that success. If your partner has a mishap, comfort and commiserate about that mishap. Remember, your partner's feelings are of utmost importance. You must let your partner experience those feelings. Never one-up your partner and never tell your partner that his/her feelings or situation are not as important as someone else's or your own. To do so only makes your partner feel like they are not as important to you. Love and support your partner in any way you can, don't try to "fix" the problem at that moment. Just be with them and accept their emotions, no matter what they may be feeling or how much you may not agree with their perspective. Wait a while and then offer your assistance.

Step 5
Be forgiving. If your partner does something that hurts you, forgive and get on with life. The most important part of this step is to forgive and never bring it up again. Rehashing old issues or actions will do nothing more than reinforce negativity in your relationship. Again, EFT can work wonders in the forgiveness process.

Step 6
Be considerate. Compliment your partner. Gently touch each other and say, "I love you" often. Hold hands, like you did in the beginning of the relationship. Do the unasked things, hold doors open, fill the gas tank, pick up the paper, refill a drink, pick up after yourself. It's those little things that make your partner feel loved, feel noticed, and will enhance your relationship in ways you never thought possible.

Step 7
Do your best to maintain a positive attitude. Concentrate on and look for the positive aspects of any situation. Take charge of your emotions and direct them into positive actions to improve yourself and your relationships. If you spend your energy looking for the GOOD in your relationships, that is what you enhance. If you concentrate on the negative things in your relationships, you will increase the negative. Remember, WHAT YOU GIVE ATTENTION TO EXPANDS! Want more love? Look for the love! Want more affection? Be more affectionate!

There you have it. To help you take charge of and succeed in having a wonderful relationship, you can use EFT, the NLP Power Point, and the Masterful Question Formation processes.

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Showing 1 of 1 comments

Submitted By: Joseph Kirchmer

posted on 2/12/2008 @ 12:30:49 PM

Rated Blog Entry

Great advice, especially the first step, which I would assume is the most difficult. Thanks John.

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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

John Garrett

Parker , CO

John Garrett has posted 1 blog entry and 0 comments since joining on 2/11/2008. John Garrett 's average blog rating is 5.

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