With the release of the seventh and final tome of the Harry Potter book series I feel I can finally reveal a secret. Perhaps other muggles will be encouraged to do the same. It is hard to live a lie.

On the night of a recent birthday I awoke with a sharp pain in my left foot. In the morning I discovered a lightning shaped mark on my sole. The pain persisted for several days.

It was such an odd occurrence that I was reluctant to seek medical attention. Eventually the soreness went away and only a 1-inch scar remains to remind me of the strange event. See photograph.

Since that night I have experienced odd things in my life. Wild dreams of an evil wizard have haunted me. At night, strange shadows have appeared in the lane in front of my house and the hooting of owls draws me to the window at unexpected times.

Could I have wizard powers? Is it possible that I have been given supernatural abilities? If so, I would need a wand. I mean, really - how can we defend ourselves against the dark forces of evil without a wand.

I went to Home Depot. Their selection of wands was limited. As we know from the first Harry Potter book, the wand of a real wizard is suppose to choose its owner. I wanted something exotic and powerful like Harry, made perhaps of holly and phoenix feather, about 11 inches long.

Size, it seems, may matter. But all I could find was pine or cedar dowels, 3/8 th inch in diameter, and none too flexible. I guessed, in the end, that with muggles, it was us who chose the wand and not the other way around. So I settled for a couple of 12 inch dowels and resisted the temptation to buy some Elmer's Wood Glue at the same time.

Travel has become easier. Talking the train into downtown Denver, I stroll nonchalantly along the Park Meadows platform and, when no one is looking, I apparate through an invisible opening three-quarters of the way toward the north end of the station. Poof. I come out on the 6th Street mall. Pretty cool and economical.

The best thing is being able to learn Quidditch. I recently acquired, (from E-Bay - where else?) a super twin-shafted, multiple-use broom stick combo. The latest Sweeper Model, called the Numbutt 2007 is specifically designed for the sweeper position and can also be used to do yard work.

So far, I haven't been able to fly, but one needs to practice on the ground before honing ones flying skills. There is no need to take unnecessary risks. It is also a little embarrassing to be seen walking around with a Numbutt 2007 between ones legs, so night-time practices are the way to go. It would be nice to have others to practice with as well.

Although excited about my new abilities, I realize I have limited powers and that I am not really suppose to use charms or spells on the muggle population-at-large. I haven't, for example, been able to stop drivers from speeding through school zones or talking on their cell phones while changing lanes without signaling.

Nor have I been able to stop the yappy neighborhood dogs from barking incessantly. But hey - I am thankful for my wizardry powers and only hope that when he-who-cannot-be-named (Wal-de-Mart?) dares appear, I will have the courage and skills to be a formidable foe.

In the meantime I will practice placing Imperius Curses and Confundus Charms on the plague of rabbits eating my wife's flowers. So far, the best I have been able to do is burn toast and oatmeal at breakfast.

I feel certain that I have been given these amazing powers for a purpose and that the purpose will be revealed to me in time. I take my responsibilities very seriously and am committed to being prepared to fight for truth, justice and the American way. In the meantime I await instructions from the Order of the Phoenix.