A long time ago in a land far away....Parker, a few years back... "they" built a roundabout (twice) in an effort to keep us pesky east side residents from incessantly taking Mainstreet (the most direct route) to get to the west side of town (we've got a lot of nerve).
In the ensuing years "they've" tweaked Pine Dr., Hess/Hilltop Rd. and Lincoln, all in an effort to drive us away from the historic heart of our not-so-little-anymore town. Apparently, it's worked, because now "they" are preparing to spend 2.4 million dollars to make historic Mainstreet more pedestrian friendly. In other words, they want us back.
But wait, won't that require us to get there first? I thought "they" didn't want us to drive downtown. What's going on? I'm so confused...hey, maybe that should be our town motto!
Okay, first "they" are going to tear out some cement medians (oh, wait, maybe that's our motto. "The town that never poured cement it wasn't willing to tear up and pour again.")
You know the medians, the ones with the trees in them that cast that lovely shade in the summertime and add charm in the fall. The trees that eased the loss of the "Mountain Man" cottonwood whose decades long splendor came to a sad end, leaving Mainstreet feeling naked.
It's for a good purpose, though. "They" plan to expand the sidewalks, making them 8-10 feet wide. Of course, that means pulling out the old brick sidewalks first. Don't worry, though, they will be replaced by brand new, genuine colored concrete, hopefully pressed to look like genuine brick.
Whew ... I was a little worried we'd lose some of our historic downtown charm.
I know what you're thinking-how do you get people to slow down and stay downtown? Speed bumps, naturally. Except, they're called "speed tables"--makes you feel like you've been invited for a quick bite to eat, doesn't it?
There's supposed to be more parking, too, but the diagonal spaces in front of Parker Station (a.k.a. the easiest parking in town) will have to go. (My condolences to the liquor store).
If you've seen the conceptual rendering of the intersection of Mainstreet and Pikes Peak, let me assure you that even though it looks like it could be a charming "vanilla" expanse of blacktop and "bricks" in Anywhere, USA, it is actually going to be Parker's charming "vanilla" Mainstreet.
You may be wondering why "they" are going to so much trouble to draw folks back downtown. It's the library and cultural arts center.
Remember the mill levy that we voted down?
As with the new town hall (yes, the one "they" built backwards), it's not about to be stopped by some silly vote of the citizenry. It's coming ... and don't get me wrong, I voted for it (what's another mill or two among friends?), but I just want to know, where's the bowling alley going?